DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY: NUMERO THREE....

Okay so I'm back.  I had to step away for a few and find my dayum happy!!!  Sheesh....I was frustrating my daggone self.  But sometimes you just have to get that stuff out.  It does no justice and it makes you no more stronger to hold all of that crap in and suffocate yourself from the inside out.  I myself find it quite therapeutic.  But every vent session needs a "sit yo ass down and get it together" moment.  And I had to go ahead and have that come to Jesus meeting with myself for a few weeks.

SOMETIMES GOTTA FALL ON THAT ALTAH!!!!!

Anyhoo....back to the fun and back to life!!!!  When life is good, it is oh sooooo good, but when it's bad, you gotta learn how to stick, move, and protect ya rib cage.  That brings me back to the DECODING portion of my SINGLE MENTALITY rant!  And that brings me to my next tip....

So on my down time you know I staaaayed in front of the television.  I mean I watched Wendy Williams, Divorce Court, TMZ, LHHATL....etc., you name it and I could probably catch you up on what was the goinz on of ratchet t.v.  But what I picked up on and had to ask myself was what about me did I need to change???

We are so quick to point a finger and read someone else.  We have all of the advice in the world when it comes to another person's lifestyle choices and/or situations.  We know EXACTLY what we would've done had it been us in that situation or what WE would do if we had all of that money.  But the real question we should be asking ourselves is what are we doing with ourselves now?  Everyone has problems.  No one is above them, and everyone has enough going on in their lives to where they really don't need to be focused on how another eats, sleeps, and shits...but we do it anyway.

For the first few weeks, like everyone else I was caught up in ratchet world (still am). I ate my popcorn, drank my wine and waved my finger at the television talking about how these heauxs ain't loyal! Subconsciously I was being passive aggressive about my own situation.  I didn't know how to deal with my own shit, so I figured I'd play Dr. Philomena to someone else's.  But as time progressed on, and my situation got progressively worse, I really had to look deeper into ratchet world and realize I had the same problem as these characters.....I needed re-tweaking.

GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO CUT IT ON CHILE!!

We often pray and/or hope for a better life.  But seldom do most of us get out of our own daggone way in order to have what we hope and pray for.  We become stagnant to redundant actions.  I say stagnant instead of complacent, content, comfortable, or appeased because those terms equate to a level of happiness. Stagnant is stale, stuck, lazy, passive, dormant, DEAD!  We become so dead to walking in circles that our bodies and our minds just do it!  And living our lives vicariously through other individuals feeds this pig.   I realized that this was me.  Full of hopes, dreams, destiny, purpose, but unwilling to sacrifice my comfortable mentality. So used to hoping and doing just enough and not used to pushing harder and taking the necessary steps.  That could be my lifetime.  Just falling into situations and living on what I could've been or who I used to be. That is scary!  So comfortable with who I had become....smh

I've used the phrase so many times before that "I'm so many things to so many people"....this isn't a bad phrase, but I had to stop and ask myself who I was to me???  And did I want to be that person?  And if so, how do I change that?  How do I re-tweak that.  This plays into the most simplest things in life.  For these last few months, it never crossed my mind to re-tweak my dayum resume.  Never did.  This guy and I were chopping it up while I was getting my oil changed.  Random convo of course.  He mentions how he just got this job and how he had to change up his resume a bit.  That's when I swear that Jesus hit me over the head with a hammer and said "Dufus this is what I've been trying to drill in your head...CAN YA HEAR ME NOW?"

Being single...we pray for what we want, but do we prepare and position ourselves for what we want?  Do we fix what needs to be fixed?  Do we change out what needs to be changed out?  Remember....we have to be what the other person wants too!  We can't just be out chea living life as a 5 and expecting a 10 to meet us where we at....Not saying that it can't happen but why not be your best for someone?  Why wait for someone to come and make you better?  If you know what you need to do, then why not start making the necessary moves?

I say time and time again that we have to break bad habits and form good habits that will cause people that we need and want in our lives to be attracted and allured by the light we provide.  Well I don't say it time and time again, but best believe that I'm going to start now that I'm living it.

Most of the time we have to start from the inside.  Our actions/choices outside are usually a manifestation of what we have going on in the inside.  Sometimes it's necessary to break down our old belief systems and foundations; and rebuild a stronger, better, life lasting one.  And sometimes it takes for you to lose everything you thought was holding you together.  Re-tweaking your relationship with Jesus may be necessary too....Hey the preacha in me said it....NOT ME lol...

Keep it live and keep it sexy.....until next week!!!!

Thanks for rockin!!!

****Oh and I noticed that google has done something with my daggone pics.....NOT COOL!!!....so I may have to think of some more visuals to bring balance to my long-wind-ed-ness.....stay tuned!!

SOMETIMES THERE JUST AREN'T ENOUGH TORTILLA CHIPS...WHERE'S A LEATHER COUCH WHEN YOU NEED ONE?

Sitting in this restaurant enjoying the free Wi-Fi and decent food.  I'm attempting to enjoy this beautiful Friday and welcome the weekend with smiles, shots, and fist pumps.  But I have to admit that today has definitely been a challenge for me.  Weirdly I've been feeling like I'm in an episode of The Twilight Zone.   Nothing that I am trying is seeming to work out for me at the present moment.

TRAPPED IN BETWEEN A HUGE ASS WHITE MAN AND A HARD PLACE...

Quitting has definitely been one of my TOP FIVE options.  Not even going to lie.  But usually my rebuttal for that option is that if I do quit, I have nowhere to go and feel sorry for myself.  So like every day before the other day and before that, I pick myself up by my ankles, thank God for breath and opportunity, and I push forward and boldly face whatever lies ahead with a smile on my face.  Here lately it's been rejection.

It's a rough world out there folks.  Especially when you do it alone.  It's even harder when people don't/can't relate to what you and your God have discussed in private.  And during the "testing" period, God makes you look like a total fool every time.  I guess that's the challenge in trusting HIM and not listening to the outside chitter chatter.  I can definitely see how one could lose family and friends during this process.  You either ruin it being needy as all get out or you find out how they truly feel about you and your dumb ass ambitions.

That is one of the reasons I took a leave of absence from social networking.  Because sometimes I just don't want to fake the funk.  And I don't want my 500+ social network friends faking the funk with me!  I don't want to be positive sometimes.  Sometimes I want to tell the truth about how I really feel.  I FEEL LIKE SHIT!

My smile most days comes after an hour long prayer session, all of my bills are past due, my relationship with my best friend (my momma) is on the fritz, and every month end my stomach begins to flip because I just don't know how my rent is going to get taken care of!  There I said it!  I'm tired of hiding behind smiles and God is goods.  The raw truth is, I don't know if this was the right decision because my reality is saying that it isn't.  But God in his still voice says that it was.  So I have to trust that because that's who I choose to believe in!

I can't/won't even think about a relationship at this point.  Dating or anything.  A man isn't even a priority right now.  The thought of one approaching me just dries me up!  Like seriously why would he want to be with a woman that doesn't have a job and can't pay her bills.  Hell I'm turning my own dayum self off right now so the fact that they still approach me knowing this let's me know they aren't thinking with their brains but with their dinkles.  I guess being broke has it's advantages.  You can definitely see through the b.s.

MEN ALWAYS THINK GIVING US THE DINKLE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING ALRIGHT...

Then when you are as broke as I am, it opens the door for "settling".  I found myself almost getting involved in a situation that due to past experience I am all too familiar with. I was seriously considering *clears throat* playing the sister wife role.  *hangs head in shame*.  I was so thirsty for affection that I was willing to wait my daggone turn.

Being broke is teaching me that it's okay to have standard.  And sometimes that standard means sitting and eating at the table alone.  It's not even about finances most times.  It's about how you see yourself.  It's okay to be broke, lose everything, and be single in the process.  You don't have to allow your circumstances to dictate what you will put up with and who you invite into your atmosphere.  I've been thinking on this saying all week, "He who has the money, holds the power."  I wondered why that kept popping up in my head, but then it all made sense when I was approached by someone that had the power to get me out of my current situation. I made a decision that his money didn't have power over my dignity.

It's okay to think you are better than someone and their options they present to you.  I didn't make the choices that I made in life so that I could allow any ol Joe Blow to come in and put his feet up on my good table.  Even at your lowest point, you still have the option to decide who you let in and who you let stay in.  I have $20 in the bank.  I am going to sleep peacefully tonight feeling like a regular human being and then tomorrow that money will disappear because I need toilet paper and toothpaste.  But through it all I will have my peace of mind and my dignity.

AND BEN & JERRY'S

Keep it cute folks!  Depending on my mood ring, I will be back to my sexy and fun world next week. Thanks for rocking with ya girl!!!

Until next time!!

INTERMISSION....THERAPY IS NOW IN SESSION! GROUP HUGS ARE WELCOMED!!!

Greetings and salutations all!  I have been sitting here trying to think of something witty to say.  Ya know....a good opener.  I can't....not today.  Actually this blog, I am going to take a break from my DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY chapter and just vent.  Can I do that today?  Can I talk it out with you gals n guys about what's been going on in Whit's world?

First off, I still do not have a J.O.B!!!  I tell ya one thing, struggling finances is a hard thing to overlook.  It's like the big ass pink elephant in the room.  EVERY room.  Lack of funds has definitely put a hold on dreams, aspirations, smiles, hi fives, and is really starting to wear on my positive, happy go lucky, optimistic frame of thinking.  Honestly, I'm to the point in the job search where I've stopped looking (don't tell anybody).  I'm beginning to totally relate to the "phcuk it" attitude of these panhandlers!  Everyday it gets easier and easier to sleep in and it gets harder and harder to smile through the bs.

But I tell ya what has changed.  I have NO PROBLEM asking a man for a coin, let me tell you!  Oh you want to be with me you say????  What you got on these lights, this car note, this rent, this phone bill, these groceries?????  Most of them I have chased off, but hey....lol....I don't have time!  I've never been one to ask a man for anything, but now a days pride has definitely been shoved off the cliff....dayum being pushed to the side!  It's a very humbling experience.  One that I wish only on my enemies (only on paper...not in real life).

Being broke puts things into perspective.  Especially relationships.  You begin to see people from the bottom looking up instead of as an equal (or that's how I see it in my mind).  Because now, you are in need of EVERYTHING and you find yourself being grateful for ANYTHING.  Even the scraps.  I find myself thanking Jesus because I got a quarter tank of gas or nobody wanted that last wing on the plate!  Being in this place has even ruined some relationships for me!  Because when you are standing at the bottom and are looking up, you really get a chance to see who cares and who's doing it for the vine.

DO IT FOR THE VINE....HE AIN'T GON' DO IT!!!!  HE DID THAT!! LOL

You definitely find out who the space fillers are in your life.  Some people are literally "just there".  When I had a check every two weeks, I used to give those folks purpose in my life.  Even though they had none. After this experience, if they have used love and me in the same sentence, but didn't take advantage of this opportunity to display said love, then they are a waste of space and their clothes are on the curb!

It's not always about money or things.  Sometimes its about the "just because" you are important to me.  Just because I care about your well being.  Just because I want to make you laugh.  Or my all time favorite, just because I can and I want to for you!  And oddly so it's been people that I never even fathomed giving a dayum that are apart of my everything right now!  You can always tell who's praying for you  and those are the people you want in your circle.

Life is definitely in perspective.  Never have I ever wanted a paycheck so bad Jesus.  Yes I HATE corporate America, but dammit if I don't love that paycheck....lol.  I've learned some great things about myself.  Like numero one....I AM NOT A HUSTLER!  I'm not even talking illegally...I'm talking all legal....lol...I couldn't sell a umbrella in the rain jack!  And I'm totally fine with that now.  I thought that I needed to unlock the gene in me or something because my brothers are amazing at making that dollah, but ummmmm....no ma'am!  I'm amazing at getting up and going to work!  A girlfriend of mine had to put that into perspective for me.

DAYUM DOG DOING BETTER THAN ME....SMH

Another thing I've learned is to NOT QUIT and NEVER CEASE TO PRAY!!! God has really shown up and out for me during this time.  Am I out of the hole....hell naw....didn't you hear me say that I don't have a job???!!!!  But I need and want for nothing on a daily basis.  Am I tired of feeling weak and helpless....HELL YEAH, but there literally is a blessing in everything.  I'm just excited to be in a position to help someone like I was helped when my time comes to be a blessing.

Am I going to give up on my destiny and purpose???? HELL NO!  This experience has been an answer to my prayers!  I'm learning my highs and my lows and walking out of places I never want to be again.  If anything this has lit more fiyah under my ASSets to make it happen.  I promise I've thought of a million "If I had the money" ideas since I've been down on my luck.  I'm learning to choose who I let into my world wisely and strategically because everyone isn't genuine.  Even more important every situation isn't for me!  If it's too good to be true, and it's not something you worked your ass off for, then it probably is!!!

WOODEN NICKELS......DON'T TAKE 'EM!!

If this is apart of the test....I sure hope I'm passing!!!

Back to regularly scheduled phuckery next week! BE GOOD AND BE YOURSELF!

DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY: NUMERO DEUX

So it's like four o'clock in the a.m.  I got wine wasted a little too early last night and my pillow beckoned me a bit early.  So now I'm up.  Can't sleep.  Figured I would get some blogging in before the sun came up and start slaying dragons.

THE VAULT and my last moment of sober sanity...

So here is my numero two of the DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY.  I really had to dig deep for this one because I love my circle!  I love my friends!  I love all of my relationships old and new (but that is another blog...stay tuned for that)!  But I really had to sit back and start paying attention to which friends my love life modeled after.

EITHER.....

OR.....

I don't know about anyone else, but I have a balance of guy friends to female friends.  Although I love my gals, there is something easy, less judgmental, and drama free about confiding in a guy.  Most aren't emotionally natured and tend to look at things more logically "at times".  Versus women, whom I sometimes think are secretly judging me for my indiscretions.  There is a BUT, I'm learning you can't talk game and relationships with the same guy!  A man in game season isn't equipped to relate to a relationship. Not that he's not educated in both areas, but at the moment he's committed to one more than the other.  Men are way more committed than what we give them credit for.  So the woman he is looking for isn't necessarily the woman you want to be.  Unless you are in the same season as him.

It goes the same way with women.  We are just an all over the place kind of species.  One day we are hot and one day we are cold.  Blame the hormone changes that we endure WEEKLY!  So depending on what week you catch your girlfriend she may be in a totally different place with things.  Also the Inspector Gadget outfit stays on with some women and confiding in them can have you turning an innocent handshake your guy makes with another woman into some kind of sexual code for "I'll call you when she goes to sleep".  I swear sometimes I think friendships are in the top five of relationship killers!  So we have to be careful that we aren't confiding in the "bitter single bettys" of the world or the insecure girlfriends in a relationship, who are waiting on the other shoe to drop.

REAL LIFE FATAL ATTRACTION

Now don't get me wrong....the tide can definitely change!  You can be cool with a guy that is all about relationships.  But if you aren't that model woman that he is waiting on, then you are imperfect in his eyes. Not good for your self-esteem. Then you could have that homegirl that is all about her business and getting emotionally attached to anyone is not in the stars for her.  So sex for her is detached.  Not good for your love below or your mental stability if you aren't mentally equipped like her.

I had to find balance in my friendships and realize that confiding in my whore male friends only promoted my love below having control!  They made her feel like it was okay to be like them!  And it was, but as a woman, there is a price that comes with that.  We as women can definitely do what we want, but as I have said before and will continue to say....there is power in our discipline!

As for my female love bugs, I just had to get tougher skin.  I had to embrace that people will judge you! Some criticism is constructive and some not so constructive.  Either is not always a bad thing.  Sometimes it's necessary to keep you aligned.

SEE WHERE WERE MY GIRLS WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING!! I NEED ALIGNMENT!!!!

Learning to take notes and not live by the lifestyle choices of others is so essential!  After you've gathered all of the advice and gotten all of the testimonies, warnings, shoulder shrugs, and you so stupid jokes, it's time for you to be silent and be still.  Assess your situation as your situation and make the decision that fits you and makes you happy.  LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR DECISIONS!  Your friends are there to walk with you, not be a light unto your path!  Leave that up to God, the universe, and yourself.

STAY TUNED!!!

DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY: NUMBER UNO.......

Okay so I told you to stay tuned for the DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY CHECK LIST.  

Here is NUMERO UNO of things that I had to pull my own coattail on.  These were some hard truths, because I personally think that I am RIGHT about everything, although I say otherwise.  And I think that every action I make is either a REaction or justified.  Even though that is no excuse.  Now don't get me wrong, this is a process.  This is something I discovered dayum near a year ago and I still haven't quite gotten a grip on it, but progress is progress forget you!!! lol..hey you like what cha like.

LOCATE THE PATTERN

The first thing I had to do was LOCATE THE PATTERN.  Sure I can talk about how men ain’t shit all day and what not, but what exactly about me is attracting me to these ain’t shits?  

DON'T WORRY....I'LL WAIT

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like to fix broken birds and help them to fly, but why once I put all my time and effort into the project, when they are healed and stronger than ever, they either choose door #2 or go back to the bitch that broke them in the first place???? <<<sorry got a bit personal.

Then I had to decide if this process has been repetitive.  Am I unconsciously floating from potential train wreck to train wreck trying to repair the first one?  It’s been my experience that I choose the same type of men because somewhere on my insides I am now attracted to their kind of “drama” and/or issue and they are attracted to my desire to fix them (familiar spirits anyone??)!  We as women, put our hearts, souls, tears, and love into repairing these men and they let us…because they want to be better!  Just maybe not for us.  I have noticed that most men know if a woman is too good for them.  Of course they will never let us know this in most cases, but it is up to us to pay attention. But just because they know that, that does not stop them from utilizing our services. 

Now let me clarify when I say "too good"....I mean that some men enjoy "ain't shit" woman. Whether it be for the time being or a lifetime.  Some men only know how to deal and/or operate in a certain realm of thinking and feel threatened if taken out of that comfort zone.  Furthermore just because we may be too good for someone doesn't make us better than them in any sense of the word.  In some instances, the man may be content with where he is and his capabilities.  He may not want to upgrade or change. His level of success may be different from what we want.  We have to ACCEPT. 

ACCEPTANCE is such a big part of it!  Just because we put in the time and effort to make a better man doesn’t mean that he has an obligation to be that better man for us!  And he’s not wrong for that!  God uses his saints in all facets and answers everyone’s prayers.  Sometimes we have to adhere to God's voice and make sure we aren't on the short end of the stick.  Our hard work may be an answer to his future wife’s prayers.  Yeah that stings and that hurts, but sometimes we have to realize that just because we signed up to clean a house does not rightfully make it ours.  He still holds the option.  

We also need to keep in mind that every man, no matter how much we are attracted to them, can hold it down, put up with their melo-dramatics, etc., is for us!  Some things simply don’t work because they don’t need to!  The universe knows what we don’t!  We probably will not be happy in the end!!!!

In conclusion…..BREAK THE PATTERN….try to find someone that is less broken or just not broken at all!  Or whatever your repetitive sequence may be.  Onward to new pastures and pickings!  Go on a date with someone TOTALLY off of your attractive radar just to see if there is something you could be missing.  And for God’s sake, pay attention to the signs!!!  They are there to help you.  They tell you what is about to happen before it actually does.

STAY TUNED!!!!!!

HOW TO BE SINGLE AND STILL BE MARRIAGE MATERIAL: DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY PT. 1

So…I consider myself on some level to be a feminist.  I believe in the rights and equality of women in ALL facets.  

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO EMBRACE OUR SEXUALITY AS WELL AS OUR FEMININE INDEPENDENCE

But in some cases that does not go over too well.  “The Sex” being one of them.  One of the primary reasons being, what we have in between our legs should hold so much value and should not be given away freely or on a whim.  And don’t get me wrong, that is not a bad standard to uphold.  Because it actually is true!  What we have is priceless but I question, should women have that same expectation for a man?  Should his dinkle hold some type of value and not be treated as a plastic sword that a child pulls in and out of his toy box?  Shouldn’t it be treated like the Excalibur of swords and none but the worthy can pull it from the stone???

SEE....SHE'S NOT WORTHY OF THE SWORD!!!

That is the “double standard” of men can do what us women cannot do!  Now as a woman, it kind of sucks to live up to this, because as women grow/mature we realize that we have the same wants/desires, and sexual appetite as men.  Actually it may be more powerful in a sense because it takes a bit more for us to get the BIG BAMBINO!!!  But we are taught to tame the feline and save all sexual ignorance for marriage.  Which of course is how it SHOULD be.  But what good is discretion if you can't SHOW OUT a lil bit??

BUT WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD TWERK SESSION!!!!

In most cases, this is not how it is!  According to the Huffington Post, “The U.S. Marriage Rate is 31 marriages per 1,000 women in the U.S….So that means that…31 of those previously single women tied the knot in the last year.   For comparison, in 1920, the national marriage rate was 92.3”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/marriage-rate_n_3625222.html

Of course this is the point where blame is tossed between men and women!  Men say that women are too independent and try to act like the man these days and women say that men aren’t man enough these days and don’t handle their responsibilities.  In truth both men and women are to blame for the decline of marriage.  I mean let’s face it, you can’t have one without the other.

Or you can blame the way society is now.  The way that people have become so superficial and untraditional.  Or we compare our relationship to other couples (an age old tactic), and refuse to find and/or create our OWN traditions and what works for the individual marriage.  Not willing to fight for anything, but want to be handed everything.  The microwave society if you will.  We desire a perfect marriage from two imperfect people and when perfection is not met, we gracefully bow out after a six month courtship.

SO CHILDISH

There are so many causes to the decline, I want to focus on a solution.  MY SOLUTION.  I have officially been single for about three years and I have really grown a lot and learned a lot about myself in the last year.  What was I doing for the first two years you ask?  Living in a warped mentality when I sit back and look at it.  I was bitter beyond belief, but I convinced myself that I wasn’t.  I used my vicious tongue and my gift of gab to destroy every man that exuded a bit of power!  That in turn created more baggage on top of the baggage that I already had.  See this is what happens when you think you are sane and unaffected.  It’s been my experience, once you acknowledge that you are on the brink of insanity, it is then that you can turn around and truly see the mess you have created.  And that is where you begin to fix yourself!!

That’s honestly how this blog even started!  I knew I was a bag of crazy balls and I wanted to really hone into what I was putting out there.  I also wanted to know if I was totally full of shit or if I was on to something.  After careful study of myself I have locked down a few things that separate the single from the taken.

Stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!

GETTING BACK IN THE GAME: PRACTICE SQUAD AND BENCHWARMER ONLY!!!

So two things I have vowed to do better.  Update my blog more frequently and get back into the dating game!  I think for the most part that I have deciphered my issues and determined that I am now fit to be released back into society.  Well that’s a half truth.  The other half is that I’m tired of studying myself.  I mean geez louiiiise, one can only put up with kicking themselves in the ass, critiquing and overly thinking for so long.  At some point, there comes a time to live and put those lessons learned to use.  Like I said before, it’s hard to change one aspect of yourself and other parts of you not to follow. 

READY TO GET BACK IN THE GAME.  JUST WAITING ON THE NEXT BUS!

As for my blog….this is my domain.  My outlet.  I actually go back and read these little jewels and see how full of shit I am/was/or how much I’ve grown!  This crazy life takes time to even just get a grasp on.  Dayum trying to understand it.  A chic is just trying to live happily with whatever obstacle she’s slaying at the moment and look good doing it!  Isn’t that what every woman wants?!  Who the hell wants to look broke.  I mean seriously….lol....presentation is everything! 

I HAVE ARRIVED!  WHAT DRAGONS AM I SLAYING TODAY??

One thing that I have learned these last few weeks is that people invest finances, time, emotion…etc., in something they see potential in.  Your overall presentation makes the first impression and your mouth makes the second.  It’s all about wise investments and people aren’t about wasting anything these days!  We want everything to matter! 

That’s why we usually stay in shitty relationships or deal with dead things as long as we do.  We want to get something out of it!  We want it to matter.  We want to feel like our investment wasn’t a waste.  I think if we recognize and accept bad investments for what they are then we won’t spend so much time convincing ourselves that we made a good investment. 

SOME PEOPLE MAKE BAD INVESTMENTS LOOK GOOD!!

Tired of trying to make things fit!  Tired of trying to make people fit!  Tired of trying to make them size 6s fit shit!  Time to treat myself like an investment. 

I’ve started dibbling and dabbling a bit more in fashion and even a little make-up!  And if you know me, then you know that a sistah does not do the make-up thing!  My face be slicker than a can of oil and shinier than the camera flash itself….lol.  But I’m learning, folks I’m learning.  I’ve been trying different looks trying to see what best fits me.  I’m learning that I’m an eclectic mix of what’s right and what’s wrong….lol.   Much like my personality!  And that is all translation to say that a chic is still hitting and missing!! Lol…but I am having a ball doing it. 

As for dating…..I am easing back on into the game a little bit.  I’m strongly thinking about re-implementing my no sex in the champagne room policy though.  I’ve definitely let the cat out the house a few times.  It’s like I tried to convince myself that it doesn’t matter, but it does.  Sex is so ridiculously important and we have tried on numerous occasions to take away its’ power.  It’s impossible.  Something so precious and sacred and that feels that dayum good should not be given away freely.  I almost feel like I need to draw up a contract for my love below.  A real one!  Not no dayum verbal agreement or pinky swear neither.  Fug that!  I want it in writing because that will hold up in a court of law.

ME AND THE LOVE BELOW ARE FINALLY ONE ONE ACCORD!!!!

These next few weeks for me are all about investing in myself!  We are all our own brand and if you are single like me, we should treat ourselves as such.  Every day that we go out in the world, we are coming across people that may have the potential to be on #teamyou!  So build your portfolio with a goal in mind for the week and make it happen.  That’s my challenge to myself. 

Keep it cute and classy boos!  Until next time!!