DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY: NUMBER UNO.......

Okay so I told you to stay tuned for the DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY CHECK LIST.  

Here is NUMERO UNO of things that I had to pull my own coattail on.  These were some hard truths, because I personally think that I am RIGHT about everything, although I say otherwise.  And I think that every action I make is either a REaction or justified.  Even though that is no excuse.  Now don't get me wrong, this is a process.  This is something I discovered dayum near a year ago and I still haven't quite gotten a grip on it, but progress is progress forget you!!! lol..hey you like what cha like.

LOCATE THE PATTERN

The first thing I had to do was LOCATE THE PATTERN.  Sure I can talk about how men ain’t shit all day and what not, but what exactly about me is attracting me to these ain’t shits?  

DON'T WORRY....I'LL WAIT

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like to fix broken birds and help them to fly, but why once I put all my time and effort into the project, when they are healed and stronger than ever, they either choose door #2 or go back to the bitch that broke them in the first place???? <<<sorry got a bit personal.

Then I had to decide if this process has been repetitive.  Am I unconsciously floating from potential train wreck to train wreck trying to repair the first one?  It’s been my experience that I choose the same type of men because somewhere on my insides I am now attracted to their kind of “drama” and/or issue and they are attracted to my desire to fix them (familiar spirits anyone??)!  We as women, put our hearts, souls, tears, and love into repairing these men and they let us…because they want to be better!  Just maybe not for us.  I have noticed that most men know if a woman is too good for them.  Of course they will never let us know this in most cases, but it is up to us to pay attention. But just because they know that, that does not stop them from utilizing our services. 

Now let me clarify when I say "too good"....I mean that some men enjoy "ain't shit" woman. Whether it be for the time being or a lifetime.  Some men only know how to deal and/or operate in a certain realm of thinking and feel threatened if taken out of that comfort zone.  Furthermore just because we may be too good for someone doesn't make us better than them in any sense of the word.  In some instances, the man may be content with where he is and his capabilities.  He may not want to upgrade or change. His level of success may be different from what we want.  We have to ACCEPT. 

ACCEPTANCE is such a big part of it!  Just because we put in the time and effort to make a better man doesn’t mean that he has an obligation to be that better man for us!  And he’s not wrong for that!  God uses his saints in all facets and answers everyone’s prayers.  Sometimes we have to adhere to God's voice and make sure we aren't on the short end of the stick.  Our hard work may be an answer to his future wife’s prayers.  Yeah that stings and that hurts, but sometimes we have to realize that just because we signed up to clean a house does not rightfully make it ours.  He still holds the option.  

We also need to keep in mind that every man, no matter how much we are attracted to them, can hold it down, put up with their melo-dramatics, etc., is for us!  Some things simply don’t work because they don’t need to!  The universe knows what we don’t!  We probably will not be happy in the end!!!!

In conclusion…..BREAK THE PATTERN….try to find someone that is less broken or just not broken at all!  Or whatever your repetitive sequence may be.  Onward to new pastures and pickings!  Go on a date with someone TOTALLY off of your attractive radar just to see if there is something you could be missing.  And for God’s sake, pay attention to the signs!!!  They are there to help you.  They tell you what is about to happen before it actually does.

STAY TUNED!!!!!!