So it's like four o'clock in the a.m. I got wine wasted a little too early last night and my pillow beckoned me a bit early. So now I'm up. Can't sleep. Figured I would get some blogging in before the sun came up and start slaying dragons.
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| THE VAULT and my last moment of sober sanity... |
So here is my numero two of the DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY. I really had to dig deep for this one because I love my circle! I love my friends! I love all of my relationships old and new (but that is another blog...stay tuned for that)! But I really had to sit back and start paying attention to which friends my love life modeled after.
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| EITHER..... |
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| OR..... |
I don't know about anyone else, but I have a balance of guy friends to female friends. Although I love my gals, there is something easy, less judgmental, and drama free about confiding in a guy. Most aren't emotionally natured and tend to look at things more logically "at times". Versus women, whom I sometimes think are secretly judging me for my indiscretions. There is a BUT, I'm learning you can't talk game and relationships with the same guy! A man in game season isn't equipped to relate to a relationship. Not that he's not educated in both areas, but at the moment he's committed to one more than the other. Men are way more committed than what we give them credit for. So the woman he is looking for isn't necessarily the woman you want to be. Unless you are in the same season as him.
It goes the same way with women. We are just an all over the place kind of species. One day we are hot and one day we are cold. Blame the hormone changes that we endure WEEKLY! So depending on what week you catch your girlfriend she may be in a totally different place with things. Also the Inspector Gadget outfit stays on with some women and confiding in them can have you turning an innocent handshake your guy makes with another woman into some kind of sexual code for "I'll call you when she goes to sleep". I swear sometimes I think friendships are in the top five of relationship killers! So we have to be careful that we aren't confiding in the "bitter single bettys" of the world or the insecure girlfriends in a relationship, who are waiting on the other shoe to drop.
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| REAL LIFE FATAL ATTRACTION |
Now don't get me wrong....the tide can definitely change! You can be cool with a guy that is all about relationships. But if you aren't that model woman that he is waiting on, then you are imperfect in his eyes. Not good for your self-esteem. Then you could have that homegirl that is all about her business and getting emotionally attached to anyone is not in the stars for her. So sex for her is detached. Not good for your love below or your mental stability if you aren't mentally equipped like her.
I had to find balance in my friendships and realize that confiding in my whore male friends only promoted my love below having control! They made her feel like it was okay to be like them! And it was, but as a woman, there is a price that comes with that. We as women can definitely do what we want, but as I have said before and will continue to say....there is power in our discipline!
As for my female love bugs, I just had to get tougher skin. I had to embrace that people will judge you! Some criticism is constructive and some not so constructive. Either is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's necessary to keep you aligned.
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| SEE WHERE WERE MY GIRLS WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING!! I NEED ALIGNMENT!!!! |
Learning to take notes and not live by the lifestyle choices of others is so essential! After you've gathered all of the advice and gotten all of the testimonies, warnings, shoulder shrugs, and you so stupid jokes, it's time for you to be silent and be still. Assess your situation as your situation and make the decision that fits you and makes you happy. LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR DECISIONS! Your friends are there to walk with you, not be a light unto your path! Leave that up to God, the universe, and yourself.
STAY TUNED!!!
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