The Celibacy Rules Chronicles: Tales of a Single Black Woman......THE THOT BOX: TO CLOSE OR NOT TO CLOSE MY LEGS....THAT IS THE QUESTION

Hello friendly firing readers and fonters of the social world.  What a weekend.  Late Saturday night, early Sunday morning our world, and I say world because an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere  (MLK), experienced yet another form of prejudice induced hatred.  Not to mention my hometown of Tulsa, OK experienced a tragedy in itself  this month almost a century ago (which we still have yet to get an apology, reprimand...anything from but I'm not here for the history lesson so)...

THEY SILENCE YOU TIL YOU NO LONGER HAVE A VOICE TO SPEAK...R.I.P

Its so sad that in this melting pot of a world, in 2016, that we still suffer with prejudices.  Whether it be skin color, sexual preference, religious beliefs, political views, or simply because of one's sexual anatomy.  All of these advancements in technology, science, ways to make money, ways to connect the world, hell we can rebuild a dayum <<<< ebonic for "damn" heart, but we can't seem to get the heart together that God gave us.  Praying for all the people and all of the animals that have lost their lives.  Yes, animal lives do matter (._.) <<<my serious face.  Praying for the energy of this world. Negative energy begets negative energy.

With that being said, TO CLOSE OR NOT CLOSE MY LEGS...THAT IS THE QUESTION.  Forgive me, I'm feeling a bit Shakespearean today.  This is a serious issue that I've struggled with for a while.  Let me tell you where my struggle lies:

As a Christian, there is no ding ding without the wedding ring.  Those are the rules we are set to follow.  Other belief systems have a similar requirement of sex.  Usually in most cases, however, the woman is considered to be defiled, where the man is not quite held as accountable.  Actually in some cases, a man can have more than one wife should he so choose.  Which to me is pretty messed up because a man can get his rocks off with a different woman errnight <<<ebonics for every night.  And a woman is required to take the sloppy toppy seconds and thirds.

MOOD

So as a woman, a Christian woman, I battle with that.  The requirements of a woman.  But I understand we all have gender roles according to our sexual anatomy and amounts of estrogen and testosterone.  I get it.  Hence the title of this blog.  I wanted to follow the rules.  I still do, but for different reasons now....which brings me to....

Worth.  As a feminist, I believe that respect should be distributed evenly across the board.  And one (men and some women too) shouldn't set expectations for another person they themselves have no intention of living up to.  With that being said, I am not here for the men can do it and women can't movement.  It just doesn't register well with me at all.  As I've said on numerous occasions throughout this blog process and in real life, women have the same sexual appetite as men.  It took me a while as a female to understand that and then as a woman to embrace that it was okay to want sex for my own personal gratification.  Its a very powerful thing.

YAAAAAS NIECE

But I do understand the power in what I have.  I do understand that as liberating as it feels to get one off and send him down that walk of shame, I also must understand that I am giving something very precious away to someone that didn't show any type of worthiness to receive it.  That with every stroke I am receiving in a spirit of an unlikely stranger.  I understand it goes deeper than the sexual act, but has everything to do with the act if that makes any sense.

What I'm saying is...I GET IT.  And if I hold my worth at a certain level, why would I not require another person to hold not only my worth but their own worth in a similar manner.

So to answer the Shakespearean posed question, I choose to keep my legs closed.  Not because of my Christian beliefs (which should be enough) and not because I'm on some ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN movement.  But because I'm worth more than my own sexual liberation.  I'm worth more than a tradition that is never questioned nor expounded on.  I'm worth more than a netflix and chill dammit....lol.  But there are levels to this shit.  Embrace your own journey.  Learn from it and accept when that way of thinking no longer feeds you.  Learn to change and grow.  Love yourself.

Liberated.