INTERMISSION....THERAPY IS NOW IN SESSION! GROUP HUGS ARE WELCOMED!!!

Greetings and salutations all!  I have been sitting here trying to think of something witty to say.  Ya know....a good opener.  I can't....not today.  Actually this blog, I am going to take a break from my DECODING OF THE SINGLE MENTALITY chapter and just vent.  Can I do that today?  Can I talk it out with you gals n guys about what's been going on in Whit's world?

First off, I still do not have a J.O.B!!!  I tell ya one thing, struggling finances is a hard thing to overlook.  It's like the big ass pink elephant in the room.  EVERY room.  Lack of funds has definitely put a hold on dreams, aspirations, smiles, hi fives, and is really starting to wear on my positive, happy go lucky, optimistic frame of thinking.  Honestly, I'm to the point in the job search where I've stopped looking (don't tell anybody).  I'm beginning to totally relate to the "phcuk it" attitude of these panhandlers!  Everyday it gets easier and easier to sleep in and it gets harder and harder to smile through the bs.

But I tell ya what has changed.  I have NO PROBLEM asking a man for a coin, let me tell you!  Oh you want to be with me you say????  What you got on these lights, this car note, this rent, this phone bill, these groceries?????  Most of them I have chased off, but hey....lol....I don't have time!  I've never been one to ask a man for anything, but now a days pride has definitely been shoved off the cliff....dayum being pushed to the side!  It's a very humbling experience.  One that I wish only on my enemies (only on paper...not in real life).

Being broke puts things into perspective.  Especially relationships.  You begin to see people from the bottom looking up instead of as an equal (or that's how I see it in my mind).  Because now, you are in need of EVERYTHING and you find yourself being grateful for ANYTHING.  Even the scraps.  I find myself thanking Jesus because I got a quarter tank of gas or nobody wanted that last wing on the plate!  Being in this place has even ruined some relationships for me!  Because when you are standing at the bottom and are looking up, you really get a chance to see who cares and who's doing it for the vine.

DO IT FOR THE VINE....HE AIN'T GON' DO IT!!!!  HE DID THAT!! LOL

You definitely find out who the space fillers are in your life.  Some people are literally "just there".  When I had a check every two weeks, I used to give those folks purpose in my life.  Even though they had none. After this experience, if they have used love and me in the same sentence, but didn't take advantage of this opportunity to display said love, then they are a waste of space and their clothes are on the curb!

It's not always about money or things.  Sometimes its about the "just because" you are important to me.  Just because I care about your well being.  Just because I want to make you laugh.  Or my all time favorite, just because I can and I want to for you!  And oddly so it's been people that I never even fathomed giving a dayum that are apart of my everything right now!  You can always tell who's praying for you  and those are the people you want in your circle.

Life is definitely in perspective.  Never have I ever wanted a paycheck so bad Jesus.  Yes I HATE corporate America, but dammit if I don't love that paycheck....lol.  I've learned some great things about myself.  Like numero one....I AM NOT A HUSTLER!  I'm not even talking illegally...I'm talking all legal....lol...I couldn't sell a umbrella in the rain jack!  And I'm totally fine with that now.  I thought that I needed to unlock the gene in me or something because my brothers are amazing at making that dollah, but ummmmm....no ma'am!  I'm amazing at getting up and going to work!  A girlfriend of mine had to put that into perspective for me.

DAYUM DOG DOING BETTER THAN ME....SMH

Another thing I've learned is to NOT QUIT and NEVER CEASE TO PRAY!!! God has really shown up and out for me during this time.  Am I out of the hole....hell naw....didn't you hear me say that I don't have a job???!!!!  But I need and want for nothing on a daily basis.  Am I tired of feeling weak and helpless....HELL YEAH, but there literally is a blessing in everything.  I'm just excited to be in a position to help someone like I was helped when my time comes to be a blessing.

Am I going to give up on my destiny and purpose???? HELL NO!  This experience has been an answer to my prayers!  I'm learning my highs and my lows and walking out of places I never want to be again.  If anything this has lit more fiyah under my ASSets to make it happen.  I promise I've thought of a million "If I had the money" ideas since I've been down on my luck.  I'm learning to choose who I let into my world wisely and strategically because everyone isn't genuine.  Even more important every situation isn't for me!  If it's too good to be true, and it's not something you worked your ass off for, then it probably is!!!

WOODEN NICKELS......DON'T TAKE 'EM!!

If this is apart of the test....I sure hope I'm passing!!!

Back to regularly scheduled phuckery next week! BE GOOD AND BE YOURSELF!