SEX AND SINGLE IN THE CITY....THE ART OF LETTING GO - REVISITED TIL I GET THIS ISH RIGHT!!!!

I swear life is a song.  So let me start from the beginning.....of this blog.  Because my mind is at the middle.  I've had a wild experience this go round of singledom.  One that has left me tipsy....confused....inspired.....excited....MIXED UP!

What do you call something that moves fast, forces you to move slowly, consistently, and thoughtfully, AND has no repeats????  Answer:  LIFE.

People always tell me that life is too short.  And thinking back last night when me and my girls were listening to what would now be considered "old skool", vividly recalling where we were, what we were doing, and who we were with....life happens in the blink of an eye.  For a moment being able to breathe in the summer air as a child and feel the heat of the sun on our necks.  It felt like just the other day.  But we look up and it was over 20 years ago.  A hard pill to swallow, but still a pleasurable effect because you realize you have memories....and although you can't get them back, you can always go to them and get that feeling.  Life is short.....but moments can seem like forever.

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM......LOVE YOU DADDY

In my last few entries or maybe even the last one.  I'm too tipsy really to go into the archives and do the research but....lol...I said something about in order to move forward, you have to let go of the good experiences as well as the bad to really assess where you are in this life thang.

I'm losing you...hold on...putting it in relationship status....in relationships....ANY relationship it is the GOOD experiences that keep us afloat....keeps us hopeful and alive.  And although a great thing, sometimes it can cloud the reality of......nothing.

MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL

GOOD EXPERIENCES can stretch a relationship that should have ended at two months to two years. I learned I can hold on to what used to be, how it used to be, to the point that I don't even see that I am nothing less than an addict chasing that first high.  Companionship (I won't say love) is my drug of choice, but a high just the same.

BAD EXPERIENCES...well we know how these things can go.  Bad experiences cause you to marinate on the hurt.  I would elaborate on hurt but when I sit and think about it EVERYTHING HURTS!  Everything comes from hurt....but crazy is the thing that rested in me that I pulled from bad experiences is my lack of responsibility in it.  Focusing on his fuck ups and not my own.  Focusing on his games and not the ones I play.

WHO AM I?

I can't change how things turn out, but I can change my perception of it.  I can allow a moment to change me or continue to be who I am in spite of what the moment brings me.  Just because something doesn't turn out how I may plan doesn't mean it won't turn out how its supposed to....and that is...well hell its disappointing shit...BUT its life and I can't continue to fight it.

There is no glory in being the victim!  There is no glory in sympathy likes or basing my feminism off the carcasses of men I've emasculated in an attempt to fill whatever emotional void the other man left.  There is no reward in hate.....just it...there is no reward.  Hate will travel with you and will become you.  Bitterness can comfort you just as good as a great rim filled glass of merlot.

I can't display hatred towards an individual that played such an enormous part in, what at this moment, is the present part of my life.  Even though in a moment it will be a blink of an eye.  I can't hate someone for having the same hang ups, the same insecurities, the same self destructive habits, and the same "right to have options" mentality, that has comforted me and, let me tell it, protected me thus far.

WRAPPING IT UP

T.D. Jakes wrote something called the Power of Goodbye years ago....and every time I come to a moment that I question, that passage comes right back to me.  It has meant something different to me at different times...but today it simply means LETTING GO of the option to be hurt.  I choose to accept.  I choose to live in the present.

And the present.....ain't working for ya girl.  Whatever made me smile before has dissipated in the now of things.  What was once a reality is now a memory.  Ya gotta know when to hold and know when to fold.  I FOLD!!

Keep it classy....keep it cute....keep it happy!!  Until next time folks.....

Liberated Nation.

SEX AND SINGLE IN THE CITY: I'M HAPPY.....A LADY TOO....AND MEN ARE SENSITIVE!! WHO KNEW??!!

I've been battling this blog for weeks now.  Trying to find something that sticks.  Something that keeps my attention.  Because if it doesn't keep me, it for dayum sure isn't going to keep you.

I sit here on the anniversary of the day my grandmother was taken away from me, thinking how beautiful death can be.  I know some are reading this and I'm losing them in the shuffle of beautiful and death.  But stick with me.

When seen with the proper optical lenses, death brings life!  You realize how precious life is.  You appreciate life more.  The motivation that was already in you suddenly increases and sets you in motion to live your life to the fullest.  And every year, her death is a reminder to me that life is short, life is unfair, life is hard, but life is WORTH IT!!!

THE MOMENT OF CLARITY

So with that....this will be the first time that I say that I'M HAPPY with me!!!  Not because I have a man, or because I have the career I want, or because I'm driving the car I dreamed of (a smoke gray Range Rover with peanut butter interior if anyone wants to hook ya girl up), or even because I'm living how I want to live...but because I'm simply happy with who I am.

No matter what our mouths tend to say when we have an audience to show up for, how we treat ourselves is the true tell tell of how we really think of ourselves.  It's not about what you have more than what you do with what you have and what you do to get what you want!

THE EXPLANATION

My manager at work said something to me that stuck.  In the simplest of terms she broke down what it is to be a woman and what it is to be a lady.  We were talking about ALLOWING men to open doors for us at work and how we felt obligated to speed up our walk or grab a door if a man held a door open patiently for us to walk through.  I admitted....if a man opened a door for me, I would sometimes touch it.  I'm assuming a subliminal form of independence.  But she simply stated that we are women all of the time...never turn down the opportunity to be a lady.

A WOMAN VS. A LADY

We are born as women and raised as women, but we are taught to be ladies.  Some by our fathers or other male figures who love they momma.  Some by our mothers who know the value in the concept. Then life happens to us and the idea or the time for being a lady dissipates.  We learn to harness our pain and disappointments instead of letting them go.  We continue the cycle of choosing not so good fish because we are less guided by our natural instincts and guided more by circumstance and tainted emotion.

THE TEA

That leads me to the question:

As a Single Woman In Her 30s....Can I Really Recognize a Good Man?

In my previous blog I talked about the one coming and him not being what you planned.  You two not meeting where you planned.  And I realized that the stipulations we create are what we are comfortable with.  Our stipulations give us the green light...the okay to like this person.  To push forward into something.

Wolves come in all forms of sheep clothing and ain't shit individuals <<< ebonics, can be at the dayum coffee shop!  They can dress exactly how I want them too, talk like I want, have the career I expected, the credit score I dreamed he had, the boss status, the living quarters....he can make me put a huge check mark on my ideal man list!!!

I'M SO CONFUSED JESUS.....HOW COULD THIS BE A NO?!

But he can still be the same thing I've always attracted...because I'm still the same me!  I'm still the same closed off, I can do it by myself, emotionally detached because it's for the best, I'm in total control ass WOMAN!!! Looking good on paper and selfies but my wounded heart is patched up with diverted moments of independence.

THE CONCLUSION

I learned that men are just as sensitive as women.  I learned that men need reassurance, have insecurities, and have trust issues just like women do!  Men harness experiences just like we do.  They have their standards too.

The truth is.....perception is reality.  I didn't want to accept that concept, but that's why first impressions are so prevalent.  Being aware of the energy I release dictates what comes my way.  Simply put, how can I demand something I myself don't exude?  HAPPINESS.

A choice to not be affected by the turbulence of life.....HAPPINESS...the choice to focus more on the highs and learn lessons from the lows...HAPPINESS...letting go of....fear.....HAPPINESS...

Be Blessed.

Liberated nation.

SEX AND SINGLE IN YA 30S: GIRL 6....THE ART OF STORYTELLIN'....

It's Christmas Eve.  I'm relaxing on my couch, legs propped up, having a glass of vino, typing to you. I'm not going home for Christmas.  I'm not happy about that by any stretch of the the imagination.  I would so rather be in my mom's face, having a laugh with my besties, puckering my lips up to a handsome lad, and toasting up a cheers!  But that is not the case and I'm utilizing my peace and quiet to get some good words off <<< ha...that's what he said.

Anyhoo, while sitting here I contemplate the experience of long distance interests. How does one "perform" or "behave" properly in a long distance exchange of interests?  Excuse me but, I feel weird saying relationship.  Basically all the two of you have is an exchange of words and an occasional selfie.  All of which have to be EXTRA on point of course.  But, *sighs*, when ya in ya 30s and you single, you have to learn to open yourself up to all interpretations of getting to know someone.  Letting go......right?!

While embarking on this new journey complete with my hiking boots, rope, natural hair, and khaki shorts, there are some things I've found necessary when long distance interchanging.

MY HIKING GEAR LOOKS BETTER THAN YOURS....

TEXT MESSAGING AND PICS IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST!!!!

No matter how strong your conversation game is those visuals are an absolute SO IMPORTANT!!! Spelling and wit are VERY necessary as well.  You can't carry on a conversation properly without knowing how to freakin' spell.<<< team ebonics  And you can't successfully have your text messaging interpreted correctly without an ounce of wit and character attached.

Interpretation and presentation are so important in this new world.  There are going to be times you may have to look "flawless" like it's date night by the face all while trying to be as sexually casual as possible.  Thank the internet app gods for filters that have created some of the best selfies ever!!!

I LOOK JUST LIKE THIS ERRNIGHT....ERRNIGHT!

INVEST IN A FACE TIME/GLIDE/SKYPE

Getting some live interaction is just about as important as the first impression at the official meet and greet.  You have to expand your creativity and remain open to someone seeing you at your best and worst at any given moment.  After all....isn't that what we want that one to fall in love with?  The real us?

But you have to be careful to utilize these additional features WISELY....partaking in the fun after you have thrown back a few or are feeling uhhh....how shall I word this...."some kind of way", is grounds for trouble and a pool of regret if things don't work out.  Nothing like the "walk of shame" in the cyber world.  It's worse than slipping and falling in a crowded room with a drank in your hand, but never spilling the drank.  You appear to be a professional.....drinker.

Now keep a close eye on your love below.  She probably isn't used to much attention by now and the first stroke of her already immense ego will have her purring like the kitten she is.  You've been warned.

AIN'T NOTHING SLICK TO A CAN OF OIL

The upside is it can bring you and that person closer in a way.  Without actually trying you bring that person deeper into your dark, twisted fantasy world of sexy pajamas, moisturized lips, and undeniable charm.   When any other time your lips are stained with cab, you have on your favorite OU hoodie, and those comfortable socks with the hole in the heel.

SHARE INTERESTS THAT TRANSCEND THE DISTANCE

Focus on the interests between you two that can benefit from the circumstance.  Ladies if he's into sports then you better hop on that bus with a transfer. Or if you got a favorite show, you better lock him the hell in to the point date night is every Tuesday at 9 o'clock!  The unique thing about this world is if you possess even a piece of creative mustard seed you can turn something taboo into something strong that focuses more on the intellectual and interests and less on the physical.

But please refer to the previous bullet point....that video chat and text messaging creates the world....your intellect and wit sustain it. <<< that one was free...

Once you shake the idea that enjoying someone means being physically in their presence, being able to touch them, and look intensely into their eyes is necessary to enjoy them, you will open yourself up to a whole nutha<<< team ebonics world of high school childishness and teenage crush feelings you forgot existed.  You play your cards right and you'll be reliving that "You sleep?"..."huh? Naw I ain't sleep........zzzzzzzz"....good times...

CHOOSE A DATE TO MEET N GREET AND STICK TO IT

REMEMBER....NO NIGHT CAPS!!!

One of the hardest challenges of distance is not only keeping that fire lit, which could possibly drive that love below of yours absolutely crazy.but making an effort!!

When someone crosses your path in the cyber universe....meeting can sometimes be one of the most challenging challenges.  It's more than meeting at the coffee shop in a mutual location or casually bumping into each other at the happening club setting.  You have to actually work for it.

That's the unreachable booger in this scenario.  You have to accept that things that would usually be in your hindsight vision aren't quite as visible.  It's a weird world...one that my in denial 30 PLUS ass wonders if she is up for the upgrade.  But no expectation of the physical can definitely diminish a potential.  Make an effort!!!

CONCLUSION

Be PATIENT!  Even in this fast paced world that we live in now.  Basic principles still apply and they still tell you the outcome before you cash all in.

Be VOCAL!  Communication and understanding are the main leaders in this race.  The percentage in these two needs to be high and effective.  It's much like having 7 senses but only able to utilize 2.   You have to allow those two things to guide you....and trust that.

And finally....Be YOURSELF!  Nothing is more beautiful than who you really are...in all of your imperfections and best traits.  You are the perfect, unique mixture...just how you are!  Believe that without seeing the physical that someone can see the real you.

Until next time.....BE!!!!

#liberatednation

SEX AND SINGLE IN YA 30s....THE ART OF LETTING GO

I have tried a million times to write this blog...lol.  Like seriously I have stared at the screen, much like I'm doing now.  I begin with a great start and then two paragraphs in.....no substance.

I initially was going to talk about the ex-factor, and why it seems so hard to let it go. But in essence, how questionable is that?  The answer is pretty much plain as day: love or familiarity.  And regardless of what side of the grassy knoll you reside on, the point comes to "comfort".  But yet and still more yet then I care to admit, I made a 3 week attempt to make it be more.  Sometimes thangs are just what they are supposed to be.

But moving forward I begin to wonder....after the morning after, after the night before, when all of the fun is over....sorry had a Frankie Beverly and Maze moment.  After all of the evaluation, the loving yourself, the doing you, the stepping out your box dates, and the joys of sleeping in the middle of the bed.....what happens if you meet "that guy"?

You can shout at the highest peek of a salt mountain how ready you are, but until tested how do you really know?  You can't create the setting, no matter how you have planned it out in your mind and frequented that one spot where your "ideal mate" could be.  You can't create the circumstances in which you two may meet, although you planned casually bumping into him, staring into his eyes, and him offering you the rest of his life at no charge.  And most importantly.....you can't create the man!

There are just some moments that we can't predict.  And no matter how hard we claim, when we are single that we have left the emotional baggage in the wind, and we'll know when he schmoney dances into our space....do we really know?  One thing that I have learned as an actress is you can prepare until you are soar in the limbs.  Memorizing your lines, charactarizations, beats, actions, objectives and all the other factors you don't realize play into real life.  But after all of the preparation, the most important lesson you learn is to LET IT GO!

You have to trust yourself and your preparation.  And you have to realize that knowing when to relinquish control is often the best form of control.  There is joy in not over analyzing and enjoying the moment.  Sometimes we get too caught up in "our" rules and regulations.  We have the societal standards of what something is supposed to look like so deeply rooted in our memory banks that we miss the beauty of the trees for the forest.

If you've basically been in bad apple relationships that after careful analyzing and acceptance you realize was a bust from the beginning anyway....how exactly are you going to know what real looks like?  You can pray to baby Jesus with the Debarge family waves and the caramel skin tone, asking for that sign all you want.  But you can't avoid the test!  You have to let go of what you used to know. And what I mean by that is punishing your potential future for what your past created in you.  That insecurity.  That uncertainty.  The test is created to teach you how to trust....yourself.

Trust yourself enough to know that your past has shaped you, not created you.  Your mistakes have given you wisdom, not torn you apart.  Your experiences have added to your character, not taken away your beauty.  Accept that some moments may not be forever, but they are beautiful just the same.  And there are a such thing as beautiful lessons too.

Until next time.  Be YOURSELF......

liberated nation.

SEX AND SINGLE IN THE CITY.....DATING OR LACK THERE OF IN YOUR 30s

Sitting here.  Well past my bedtime....and its okay.  It's been a while since I've had time to write, or even wanted to write, let's just be real here.  The thought of creating art is something I have ran from for the last few months.  Its crazy what disappointment will do.  
Anyhoo, I must acknowledge my growth, accomplishments, and my triumphant feet over my obstacles!!!  True it has been a while, but I did what I had/needed to do...and most importantly, I made my way back :)

So now to the GOOD stuff 

During my hiatus I've discovered a few things.  One most importantly....when you are busy, you aren't thinking about a ninja* <<< this pertains to any ethnicity.  As a matter of factly, if you come across someone that isn't on the kind of hustle that you're on, it's an ABSOLUTE turn off!  And well let's just say...I'm turned the hell off!

When I initially came into this writing thing a year ago, it was a challenge to myself.  I was seemingly through with my choice in men.  I vowed to discover within myself what in the blue mountain fuck was wrong with me to where I attracted the dead end situationships I was attracting.  Key word SITUATIONSHIP!!  And I did!  I broke me down and notated my discoveries.  It was wild and fun to explore, date and find out my likes, dislikes, preferences, deal breakers...shit was cool.  

BUT.....after that, then what??!!!  Because it's not always us...the woman.  We aren't always at fault.  We aren't always the ones that need to DO BETTER!  And upon that discovery, I discovered that general sex is whack as hell and can lead you on some pointless detours, and stepping outside of your preferential box is total bullshit! 

CASE IN POINT 

You get horny and you think, "He's sufficient.", "He'll do.", "I like his smile", "He makes me laugh" and that's just the appetizer.  Let's not count in a few drinks, a good dinner, some more drinks, and some nice music and two stepping.  By the end of the evening you're planning THE LIFE.  Crazy where need and emotion mixed will take you.  But then after the after party you begin to realize that it's all a waste of time...that your bed feels much better...that you didn't cum, you really faked it....and the big "A HA" that you are really better and can do better than this dude!

In no way am I saying that all men are shit or even the dude you end up in a situationship is shit.  But what I am definitely stressing is that EVERYTHING that LOOKS and FEELS good to ya doesn't mean it's the best thing for ya.  In the grand scheme of things.

Let's take it a step further....let's say...for hypothetical scenarios that you take this ninja* <<< refer to previous reference, seriously.  You fall into the "good morning" texts, the late night phone calls, the womanly instinct to provide a home..for him...a safe haven.  This safe haven can convene in between your legs, the ride you give him to work, or the "I just threw something together, but I really pulled out my grandma's recipe" home cooked meal....

Then the a week, month, and sometimes if the ding ding is really good, a year or two can zumba on by and you FINALLY realize that.....you can do better that the situation you've landed yourself in.  You finally accept wanted to make it work for your sanity's sake and your fans.  

Aside from all the bullshit that falls out your mouth about how you won't take shit from no ninja*, you needed to believe that he was different.  That what you chose to let into your space was worth it.  But was it really worth it?  In the midst of trying to get wifed you lose yourself.  You can potentially lose your ambition, your personal goals, and your dayum mind!!  You can say you found your strength, but what about the strength in the beginning, at the restaurant, during the appetizer when he couldn't chew with his mouth closed?  But....the flesh gets lonely.

THE CONCLUSION

Then the task of stepping outside your box.  There are some things that just don't bend. There are some areas that govern NO negotiation.  And I discovered that.  Having preferences is not, by any means a bad thing.  I don't care if you meet the mark yourself or not.  There is someone out there for everyone, and you are attracted to what you are attracted to for a reason.  Damn the human issued guidelines!  Just because you look a certain way, are a certain color, dress a type of way, or like a type of thing doesn't box you into a particular category of who is attracted to you.  It takes a charming muhfudga to win you over when they don't at the very dayum least meet at least one of your top 10 criteria, and let's face it....the world isn't quite filled with them witty bastahds. 

So in conclusion.....if you are single, bask in that shit!  Stop praying for a man and just live, stop looking for a man and just live, stop WAITING on a man and just freakin live.  Do yourself a solid* <<<< hood lingo for "favor". Don't bend to settle, accommodate your emotions, or the good enough.  You deserve the best!!

Until next time......be great #liberatednation 

LOST DIARY FILES: LIFES ALL ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX.......

So let's talk about the level of agitation that I'm currently feeling in regards to men.  I just don't like them.  I don't like the games, I don't like the courting, I don't like the broken pinky swears.  I'm just really over it!  I don't want to go on a date, I don't want to get to know anyone,  I don't want the good morning texts, I don't want any of the pre-conceived expectation of courting.

I would actually just prefer to just meet someone in a bar or some other random location at their absolute worst, when they could give one dayum about their representative or trying to impress me, hit it off, and know at that moment that THIS is the real him.  Or how about if we just had some raw truths tattooed on one's body with invisible ink that can only be seen in black light?  That way we know what we are getting ourselves into when the lights go out.

There was a point and time that I was hopeful in finding a mate.  And don't confuse it.  I know that one day I will be caught up in the rapture of love while being pushed on tree swings in the country air, or laying in hammocks sipping little drinks with umbrellas in them; him on one end and me on the other.  I truly believe that.  But right now, I'm so cool on it!

There is so much to being single in your 30s.  At times it's liberating and at times it totally sucks ass.  For over a year I have broken myself down.  I have put almost every aspect of myself and my personal out there for the ones that grace me with their eyes, just so I could get an understanding of me.  I've taken blame for my shortcomings and most of all admitted to myself that I could've done better.  I have stepped out of my box and "tried" to turn a blind eye to things that I otherwise would step right over.  I tried to like people that liked me all int he name of following my granpa's advice of, "making sure he loves you more than you love him".  But as quickly as I turned on...like a light switch, I get turned off.

I swear I'm like a cat in real life.  One minute I want you up under me and the next minute I"m praying to yeezus that you give me 50 FEET!!!!  And the agitation is definitely growing.  Instead of breaking down walls, it seems like I'm building more that are higher, wider, and thicker.  I.JUST.DON'T.HAVE.THE.TIME!

Sex at this point is totally overrated.  I mean yeah I get the urge but when I think about the after effect of looking at the guy lying next to me, nothing between us, all of his idiosyncrasies shining a fluorescent light...yours too, feeling the after effects of his smell, his right to breathe, mad at yourself for even letting him touch you....yeah...it's a cold, cold world.

In your 30s you realize that stuff just isn't as simple as you thought they were in your 20s.  Or maybe they were simple in your 20s, but in your 30s there's more on the line.  Usually by this time people have responsibilities and those responsibilities have to be taken into consideration when choosing a mate.  Not to mention the other stuff like spritual beliefs, attraction, compatibility, job status, income bracket, health issues, sexual compatibility....etc.  When you are in your 20s most likely you are punch drunk in love and not really thinking about a lot of these things.  You just know you love him and he loves you back, and you be on that love is all we need type ish!

Your 30s force you to see past the fairytale and ask yourself if you really even like this mf like that?!  Is he/it even worth the vows and the joint back accounts, the kids, the accumulated bills, the arguments, the making up, the prayer requests, the counseling, the jealousy.......decisions.

I can definitely see why they say it’s harder to get married in your 30s.  For two reasons…..one you’ve probably played in the game a few times and your defenses are high as hell ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR every decent man is UNAVAILABLE!  And truth be told the ONLY reason why they are even decent is because their other half dedicated her 20s making and molding that ninja from a bathe three times a week, non-cooking, can’t dress, all he know how to do is get a good edge up looking ass to the smell good, knows how to be attentive to a woman, knows how to rock the perfect shoe with the right belt and tie looking man that you see before you!  Dayum behind every good man is a good woman….behind every good man is a GREAT woman!!!!  She’s the reason he even gets a second eyeball.

The thing about your 30s is that you start running into the unavailability tab. In your 20s you are likely dealing with possible baby mama drama, some “lil romeo” that thinks he’s a player, the other girl that thought she was the girlfriend too…shit like that.  But in your 30s you start bumping into the men that have probably been married for so many years and they hitting that seven year itch and they are looking for something to “hit”.  Slowly but surely that unavailable tab creeps up on your radar.  It’s a total bitch let me tell ya. 

Of course you, the woman are settling into the idea of permanent and all you are meeting are temporaries.  It’s a cold cold world.

I AM BLACK....

I have been on some kind of mental writing hiatus for a minute now.  It’s kind of agitating actually.  I have no desire to write and even when I think I got the jonz to do it, I can’t think of anything that can creatively hold my attention long enough.

I really wanted to talk about what I have deemed as “The Mike Brown Project”.  It was/is such a controversial time for the U.S. of A.  It was a moment where hidden racism was exposed and people that actually had the audacity to think that racism no longer existed were forced to face reality.   Now of course we all know this is not the first incident where a police officer……an officer that has been sworn to protect all American citizens, have over-stepped, racially profiled, or used bad judgement. 

Sometimes I wonder if that police officer actually has any regrets or remorse for what he did.  I’m sure he regrets it from all of the tragedy and rioting that followed that single act, but internally/humanly does he really feel bad for killing an unarmed Black man?  After all it seems that the world is against us and for the extinction of the Black race.

I know some people will say “whatever” and “I’m tripping”, but really let’s just take it to the yard!  Let’s touch on just TWO of my favorite shows:  Boardwalk Empire and Sons of Anarchy.  These are some pretty awesome shows.  The writing on both of these bad boys is phenom!  And the acting is just as awesome.  But one thing that I have noticed is within both story lines, the Black race is always the race that no one and I mean NO ONE really wants to bother with.  We, the Black race, are treated like an infestation, a disease, or someone you don’t even want to be seen in public with.  The respect for the Black man and his skill and effort is so minimal.  We’re not trusted on a business level nor are we truly respected on an authority level.   Now if art imitates life or vice versa, is it safe to say that this is currently the subliminal mind state of America?

Now this brings me back to reality and our present state as a country.  It seems that the Black life isn’t valued.  One could argue that it’s because we don’t value ourselves and I can’t debate and/or refute that statement.  Because on some kind of level, I believe this to be true.  But please believe there is enough blame to go around!   When you have people in authoritative positions that don’t respect human life, regardless of the skin color, then we have a problem.  When you have a government that builds on greed and free labor, then we have a problem.  When you have an overall system that is so corrupt and politically incorrect that dogs are given more respect than humans, than PEOPLE WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!!

I am Black.  I am a human being.  I have blood in my body.  I have a heartbeat.  I have a uterus and fallopian tubes, two ears, two eyes, lips, nose…..a brain!  I am not an animal, I am not ¾ human, I am not illiterate or incapable.  I am not a work horse or a slave.   My true history is unknown because it was erased from me.  My bloodline has been infiltrated by an unknown assailant.  My great grandfather is white, but I’ll never know who he is, who my cousins are, who my “other” family is.  Even if I did….find them.  Would I be accepted into their fold?

I am Black.  And I am hated for no reason at all.  I’m not respected not because of anything that I’ve done but, because my ancestors were raped, beaten, and trained to be inferior.  There are White people walking around right now that hate US because their master owned our ancestors and they feel a kind of inhumane privilege over us.  There are other races that look down on US not because we have done anything but because of what history has programmed them to believe that we are not the kings, queens, and diplomats that we once were.  It's safe to say that the world believes that WE ARE INFERIOR. 

The question is…..When will we as a people stop believing it?