SEX AND SINGLE IN THE CITY: I'M HAPPY.....A LADY TOO....AND MEN ARE SENSITIVE!! WHO KNEW??!!

I've been battling this blog for weeks now.  Trying to find something that sticks.  Something that keeps my attention.  Because if it doesn't keep me, it for dayum sure isn't going to keep you.

I sit here on the anniversary of the day my grandmother was taken away from me, thinking how beautiful death can be.  I know some are reading this and I'm losing them in the shuffle of beautiful and death.  But stick with me.

When seen with the proper optical lenses, death brings life!  You realize how precious life is.  You appreciate life more.  The motivation that was already in you suddenly increases and sets you in motion to live your life to the fullest.  And every year, her death is a reminder to me that life is short, life is unfair, life is hard, but life is WORTH IT!!!

THE MOMENT OF CLARITY

So with that....this will be the first time that I say that I'M HAPPY with me!!!  Not because I have a man, or because I have the career I want, or because I'm driving the car I dreamed of (a smoke gray Range Rover with peanut butter interior if anyone wants to hook ya girl up), or even because I'm living how I want to live...but because I'm simply happy with who I am.

No matter what our mouths tend to say when we have an audience to show up for, how we treat ourselves is the true tell tell of how we really think of ourselves.  It's not about what you have more than what you do with what you have and what you do to get what you want!

THE EXPLANATION

My manager at work said something to me that stuck.  In the simplest of terms she broke down what it is to be a woman and what it is to be a lady.  We were talking about ALLOWING men to open doors for us at work and how we felt obligated to speed up our walk or grab a door if a man held a door open patiently for us to walk through.  I admitted....if a man opened a door for me, I would sometimes touch it.  I'm assuming a subliminal form of independence.  But she simply stated that we are women all of the time...never turn down the opportunity to be a lady.

A WOMAN VS. A LADY

We are born as women and raised as women, but we are taught to be ladies.  Some by our fathers or other male figures who love they momma.  Some by our mothers who know the value in the concept. Then life happens to us and the idea or the time for being a lady dissipates.  We learn to harness our pain and disappointments instead of letting them go.  We continue the cycle of choosing not so good fish because we are less guided by our natural instincts and guided more by circumstance and tainted emotion.

THE TEA

That leads me to the question:

As a Single Woman In Her 30s....Can I Really Recognize a Good Man?

In my previous blog I talked about the one coming and him not being what you planned.  You two not meeting where you planned.  And I realized that the stipulations we create are what we are comfortable with.  Our stipulations give us the green light...the okay to like this person.  To push forward into something.

Wolves come in all forms of sheep clothing and ain't shit individuals <<< ebonics, can be at the dayum coffee shop!  They can dress exactly how I want them too, talk like I want, have the career I expected, the credit score I dreamed he had, the boss status, the living quarters....he can make me put a huge check mark on my ideal man list!!!

I'M SO CONFUSED JESUS.....HOW COULD THIS BE A NO?!

But he can still be the same thing I've always attracted...because I'm still the same me!  I'm still the same closed off, I can do it by myself, emotionally detached because it's for the best, I'm in total control ass WOMAN!!! Looking good on paper and selfies but my wounded heart is patched up with diverted moments of independence.

THE CONCLUSION

I learned that men are just as sensitive as women.  I learned that men need reassurance, have insecurities, and have trust issues just like women do!  Men harness experiences just like we do.  They have their standards too.

The truth is.....perception is reality.  I didn't want to accept that concept, but that's why first impressions are so prevalent.  Being aware of the energy I release dictates what comes my way.  Simply put, how can I demand something I myself don't exude?  HAPPINESS.

A choice to not be affected by the turbulence of life.....HAPPINESS...the choice to focus more on the highs and learn lessons from the lows...HAPPINESS...letting go of....fear.....HAPPINESS...

Be Blessed.

Liberated nation.