CURRENTLY SEEKING A FULL TIME POSITION….INSURANCE, BONUSES, AND PAID VACATIONS INCLUDED...

Checking in on this beautiful Sunday evening.  So many life lessons.  So much I’ve learned and am learning about myself.  But just not enough time, patience, or brain filters to effectively share it with the world!  And believe you me one day, the world will give a dayum about these blogs that almost no one is paying attention to right now.

Everyone is going to want to know how the hell I got where I will be, the steps I took to get there, the path that I followed, and most importantly who I was screwing at the time…..hahahaha.  

Crazy how we REALLY just want to know another person’s dirt.  No one really cares about clean.  Clean isn’t entertaining at all.  People want reassurance that you are just as messed and confused as they pretend not to be.

I usually stare into space for about an hour right before I put my fingers to the keyboard.  Briefly thinking about what my focus topic will be, how to candy coat it, and most importantly is it going to piss anyone off!  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t go into anything purposely wanting to make anyone upset with me.  I don’t like people being upset with me.  But truth and emotions don’t exist on the same cosmic realm so sometimes my truth tends to ruffle a few feathers.  But notice how I said MY TRUTH.  Please understand that almost everything that I write about is about me and something I have been through.  I’m not a reality show so I’m not here to air all of my dirty laundry for the world to judge, but understand that there is a story behind every lesson.

I’ve been doing a lot of praying here lately.  Basically something that my ass should’ve been doing anyway, but like I said before not having a job….(oh yeah I still don’t have one of those)….tends to change your perspective on what is most important.  And my sanity is VERY important.  So is my frame of thought.  So in order to keep it positive and keep it cute, prayer has become a necessity and not a chore.  Well while praying this morning the word TEMPORARY kept popping up in my head. 

Temporary relationships have subliminally been my thang for like….EVER!!!  I can honestly say that every relationship that I’ve been in, I’ve known that it wasn’t going to be THAT ONE.  I knew it before I got in it.  But as I always told myself, it temporarily worked for where I was at.  I could see the signs right off the back.  He had fideen (15) baby mommas, he’s content with his current living sitcho, he doesn’t like to travel, he doesn’t like to try anything new, he mistakens fear for ego…etc., I can literally go on and on and on with this one.  All the signs pointed to the road of HELL NO, but because of my love below and her personal needs,  I always took a deep breath and dived right on in.  Into something temporary.

As usual, a chic would get caught up in the hoopla.  I would really start digging the dude and then he would treat me like absolute total shit!  I wonder if he knew that I seen him as a temporary fix…..hmmmmm.  It’s like I would put my all into it too late or something.  And in all truth, my all really wasn’t a lot.  I just had sex with him without guilt, and his government name was replaced with “my boo”, “my babe” or something.  It was all bullshit when I sit and think about it.  But that’s not the point.

The point is….I became my situation.  I became “temporary”.  I don’t know if I have told you but for some reason I have become the “involved man” whisperer.  Like seriously, every guy that has approached me this year has the “in a relationship” status blinking above his head!  I can’t escape it.  Even my insurance guy is boo’d up.  I met this guy trying to get some daggone renter’s insurance.  We flirted, he helped me get all moved in…blah…blah..BLAAAAAH!!!!  I randomly ask him one day if he has a girlfriend and this som-ma-ma-bitch mumbles…you guessed it….’YEAH”….mutha mutha what?!  Seriously???  The insurance guy has a woman?  Not that insurance guys can’t have women, but why is shorty swinging my way?  What about me is saying, I date “in a relationship” men?  Again, I could go on and on with this.

So back to this temporary word and the relevance it has regarding me and “in a relationship” status men.  I speak, I act, therefore I am!  That is the only explanation that I can fathom right now.  I’ve been so busy going through the motions over the years that somewhere in there I got caught up in my own bullshit.  The very hole that I dug for temporary placement has weirdly become where I have settled.  I’m starting to pay attention to my words now.

I’m sure somewhere there are key words that trigger these “in a relationship” status men.  Phrases like, “I ain’t trippin”, “not my business”, “I’m not trying to settle down”, “I’m on the pill”, or what about “Yes”….maybe “Yes” is a not so good word to say….oooh what about “maybe”….maybe that’s a not so good one either.  And just for the record, I’m not even on the pill, but it just seemed like a trigger for those unavailables out there. 

Listen, it’s hard out here for 30 something single women these days.  This crap is not easy.  Some of these men are totally dishonest while the others that are trying to holla just don’t give a shit if you know they got a woman or not!  Then we have to briefly find a dayum to give about the girlfriend’s feelings.  Putting our self in her shoes and shit and trying to live by this unspoken woman code.  We have to care about a relationship that this sorry ass man apparently gives no dayums about.  And let’s be real, that is not always an easy task!  No woman wants to be called a whore and totally deserve the title!  And there lies our self respect that we must uphold at all times…..ALL TIMES!!!

TRIED TO ENTER THE CODE TOO MANY TIMES...GONNA HAVE TO WAIT A MINUTE

In light….I’m learning to be aware of the energy that I put out there and putting a muzzle on my love below.  Some opinions are not needed.

Until next time folks!

FOR EVERY LEVEL THERE'S A DIFFERENT COLOR POLISH YOU SHOULD WEAR!!! CHANGE IS GOOD!

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS!!!! So talking to my friend the other night, I had NO idea that it had been a little over a month since I blessed my Celibacy Rules blog!  I felt so detached and appalled at myself for child neglect.  I made it a point to hit up this blog today.

I've been pretty darn busy!!!  I finally have 2 out of 3 in the essentials of adulthood so I think I am doing pretty darn good.  My car and living situation have been rectified!!

Now to keep the grind going on this job situation.  Boy I tell you, it looks so easy to get a job when you have one.  But a chic has been paying more and more attention to the unemployment rate in this nation and it definitely rings true when you've been without work for 2 months.  But you can't get unemployment because it was your risk taking ass that decided to quit your job in the first place!!!  Am I mad at myself for taking the risk???  Only every 2 weeks....when that check was direct deposited into my account!  But in truth, I'm proud of myself.

It's not too often that we see something we really want and we believe in it to a point of taking a huge leap of faith.  I believe that those moments come to us often, but the window of opportunity is only available to us for a moment and if we don't move at that moment, we may miss it!  Things don't always look pretty but I'm learning to embrace those moments and allow myself to learn and to grow.  Learning to be vulnerable.

So as I sit and type and allow my brain to ramble, I have concluded that today's blog will focus on things I've learned about myself these last few weeks:

THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA.....NICE TO LOOK AT, A BITCH TO WALK

I have prided myself for so long in having my guards up!  I lightweight say it with pride sometimes. And at first it was something I was proud of.  I was happy that I had the ability to not dive into situations heart first and that I possessed the power to not let certain people in and keep certain feelings from getting out.  That in itself is a good and bad thing.  I've discovered the bad that comes with it recently.

You can't close off one part of yourself without other parts of yourself following suit.  I can't say that I don't like to let people in but say that I'm ready for love.

Another thing, just because you have high walls doesn't mean that you stop being horny!  I tell ya....if there was a switch that I could utilize to get the goals that my brain has for me,to become in sync with the rest of my body parts, particularly my love below then contradiction wouldn't be something I eat daily!!!  Sheesh.


YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHO YOU WANT IT FROM

I realized that for years, due to my high walls, my deniability of bitterness and anger, my indecisiveness...etc., that I am emotional unavailable.  So what's the big whoop and what does that mean?  It means that because I'm not available emotionally that usually puts me in situations with unavailable men!  I would always wonder what were the issues with me, men, and commitment.  What was the connection?  I had to actually do a case study on my dayum self!  And when you aren't working, you tend to have a lot of time to write out a questionnaire with 20 multiple choice questions.

The conclusion was UNAVAILABILITY.  I felt most connected to men that I wasn't required to be emotionally vested in.  That way when they rejected me, it was already preordained.  I was attracted to situations that didn't require any more of me than I was willing to give.  I even went as far as to sabotage some situations if I caught myself feeling anything or actually thinking about them in the middle of the day.  I would immediately shut down.....and then offer sex as an olive branch.  Even though what I WANTED from them was EVERYTHING, my actions and my energy gave off unavailability.  And that doesn't always mean physically but in any and all forms.

This has also poured into my social and professional life.  I have become limited in my expectations and my capabilities.  I won't allow myself to go too far in anything because of the fear of being hurt/denied.

Like I said before, you can't close off one part of yourself without other parts of yourself following suit.


I AM MY OWN COMPETITION

I've heard this said plenty of times and it was usually said....or let me rephrase, I always took it as some cocky shit to say....but I've realized that no one says what I can't do more than ME!!  Everyday that I've awakened these last few weeks, and I didn't want to be responsible or I wanted to feel bad for myself, I've realized there was no one else in that room but me!  I'm encouraging myself everyday.  Giving myself a pep talk to get up and do it all over again, regardless of the daily outcome.  I'm my own worst enemy!  And I truly believe that no one can make you feel inferior if you haven't made yourself feel inferior already.

So my goal everyday is to prove myself wrong!  My goal everyday is to make me believe in myself daily! Because regardless of spiritual beliefs, support systems..etc., sometimes the circumstance itself is overwhelming to the point that is all that you see.  And it seems way easier to give up then to keep pushing.


NO HABIT IS ABOVE THE COLD TURKEY METHOD

I actually thought this was a cold turkey when I first seen it

When I would think of changing and/or breaking habits, I always thought of the bad ones.  You know the obvious ones, the "sinful" ones.  But not anymore.  There are some "good" habits that could stand to be broken.  It's good to change.  It's good to do the same thing a different way.  Who knows, you may get a different result.  And is that such a bad thing to get?  Who knows, you may learn a new thing if you approach the old thing differently.

This method, I have definitely tried to practice on the dating scene.  It's not like I've just been out here killing the dating game.  Actually I don't think that I've been on one date in a while, but just how I respond to men has changed.  Per example, I used to think that aggression on women was a bad thing.  But now I see aggression as something done on purpose and with confidence.  Knowing what I want and actively pursuing that is a great thing.

I used to love to be under the radar and sneak up for the kill.  But that season dipped out on me a long time ago.  Instead of adjusting and changing with my level, I stayed in the same place and used the same approach.  Let me tell you something, what worked on level 3 doesn't work on level 8! If I wanted to be here, I needed to start acting like I wanted to be here and not like it was by accident, prayer, or favor that I made it to this point.  My hard work, PLANNING, and strategy...mixed with divine intervention and Jesus being on my side is what got me to that place.  Being too humble to the point of denying oneself of victory dances, pats on the back, and occasional praise from your peers isn't always a good thing.


SELF SABOTAGE IS THE NUMBER ONE KILLAH AMONGST........ERRBODY

Thin line between humbleness and self sabotage.  I noticed how us, we....people don't accept compliments well at all.  Especially me!  Someone gives me a compliment on some of my work, and I'm the VERY FIRST ONE to down play it as no big deal or bring up some negative aspect to dilute the kind gesture.  And when they walk away, I kick myself in the ass for doing that.

Same thing with men.  I will say time and time again that I want a man that does this and that or that treats me like this or that.  And the moment a guy comes along that does those things I immediately reject the kind gesture and in turn treat him like the scum of the earth.  I'm so so guarded that I can't embrace a man just being a gentleman.  I realized although I'm on level 8, I'm still living parts of my life on level 3.  Not wanting to let go of some of those good habits has now become a set back and not a push forward.

At some point it is necessary to change EVERYTHING about yourself.  Not all at once, but receiving the idea that maybe what worked for you in your 20s may not go over so well in your 30s.  What you used after that break up to motivate you to start your own business or finish school, may not be the tool that you need to usher love into your atmosphere.

 Different needs require a different approach.  Until next time folks!!!!

    

LOVE DON'T LOVE YOU.....VALENTINE'S DAY EDITION

VALENTINE'S DAY EDITION

I am so busy!  That's kind of weird coming out of the mouth of a chic that is 0/3 in the key essentials of being an adult category.   I would bore you with ev-er-y-thing that I have going on, but that's not what this is about today.  I have a rant brewing in my spirit and I'm taking it to this blog for release.

P.S., If you are one of my grown ass readers that is more entertained by the silly pics that I post, more than my words, then this won't be the blog for ya!  Buh-bye!!!!!

I was reading one of my fave blogs today, Black Girls Are Easy and the blog I read was entitled REASONS WHY YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS A LIE!  At first, like most times, I was hesitant to read the blog because it pinches so many nerves with me.  There's sadly a lot of truth in the subject manners and sometimes the truth is hard to hear.  I usually leave the blog feeling enlightened, convicted, pissed, and full of a lot of mental notations......but today it was so profound and shook me so much that I had to take it to my own blog!


CHECKING EMAILS
Women......we need to do better!  Point blank and the period.  Our choices in who we let in our lives to shit all over us, is a tell tell sign to other "ain't shits" about how we think of ourselves.  We unknowingly are sending out dog whistles to all of the other lazy bums of the world that we are available to be used and abused!  We give these bums power to crap all over us and we give them our everything and then when they don't reciprocate or use us all up, then we are left picking up the broken pieces of our heart. It's a sad thing to admit, but dammit so is admitting that you bought a bad weave.  Sometimes you have to accept things as what they are.

Sometimes mending our broken hearts from bums makes us miss out on a sure fire man!  And then the cycle continues.  We get so used to being chose by the bums that we continue the sad, sad cycle of getting hurt. Or what's worse, we end up ruining a good relationship with a good man because we are so afraid of being hurt again.

Women we need to get our heads out of la la land and stop listening and start paying attention.  People always show better then they can tell.  If he tells you one thing, but his actions are matching something different, then that is a sign.  Stop using the excuse, "If he don't want me then why doesn't he just say so?"....there are a million and a half answers  to this question.  And most come in the form of ACTION...take the blinders off and pay attention! But at the end of it all, respect yourself enough to not allow yourself to be toyed around with.  If he wants to be with you, he will.  If he really loves you, then he won't have a problem showing it.  If it's real then it will be more than a facebook status!

Keep in mind that men/people will be whatever you want them to be in order to get what they want for the time being.  So stop living in the past of when he "used" to act right, when he "used" to wine and dine ya, when he "used" to not get enough of being around.  If his financial status hasn't changed or there hasn't been some drastic change in his life, then as time goes on he should still desire to do these things.  Love comes with time so as time goes on, his desire to make you smile diminishes, then maybe you need to fade to black on his ass as well.

REAL TALK TIME
Just because a man has good dinkle, doesn't mean he is a good man! NEWS FLASH, we grown so if a man has good dinkle, please know that he knows he has good dinkle, and please know that if YOU know he has good dinkle, then about 25 other chics know the SAME exact thing and are governing themselves accordingly in his life according to his need for them...much like you.  It's about 10 chics to one man convincing themselves that he is the one, creating a space for him in their life, convincing themselves that his kindergarten etiquette holds some value in their life, and most sad convincing themselves their is a bond/relationship where there is none.  And don't exclude yourself from this paragraph if the dinkle statement doesn't apply to you!  Remove the word "dinkle" and replace with "personality", "father", "son", "Christian", "financial planner"...etc., it ALL applies! He could be great at these things, but suck as a boyfriend, husband...etc.

Stop basing your relationships off of sex!  We are women!  We are emotional, catering creatures.  We are not created like men.  Sometimes we can move how men move, but that takes a lot more effort and energy on our behalf.  We need to stop pretending that we can do what they do.  This usually leaves a lot of as single parents, feeling played, judged as hoes, or just flat out alone!  I can truly say that men don't want women that act like men, but women that act like women.  There is power in our discipline.  Remember that.

Women, we have to stop giving passes to these mediocre men because we are lonely, horny, financially challenged, a Christian, a non-believer, a deep thinker, etc.  Yeah I said it because it needs to be said.  We need to stop dumbing ourselves down to make someone that acts like half of a man, feel like a whole one! And I don't just mean mentally.  Anytime that you compromise your value, belief, standard, education, growth, common dayum sense in order to cater to another individual then you are dumbing yourself down.

We've convinced ourselves that THIS is humbleness, that this is apart of CATERING TO YOUR MAN, that this is OUR ROLE!  We all have faults, but in no way should his faults require you to step beneath yourself in order to make him feel a way.  If anything he should rise to the occasion (no pun intended) No ma'am.....IF we are in a presence of a man that loves us, then our main job as women is to make sure that he is a productive, God-fearing, fearless, confident, and a strategic leader!  Somebody that we can follow, we can trust in and depend on.  We get with these men that at the first sign of trouble throw you in front of the bullet to shield themselves, and then call you a week later to make sure you aight!  Stop pacifying these weak minded men in order to make them feel like men!  Challenge him don't be his "yes" woman.

Stop allowing yourself to be treated like a fool!  Women, we know the game!  We see it happen to our homegirls, the bitches that we don't like, and some of us have seen our mommas go through the worst parts of the game.  So why do we get with this "ain't shit" and pretend that fat meat ain't greasy?  Why do we WILLINGLY and PROUDLY most times, take our place as the "seat filler".  You don't know what that is???  That's someone that fills a seat until the real star gets there.  We deal with the no call/no shows, the broken promises, the half truths, the mediocre efforts, the other women, the broken hearts, the sleepless nights, the endless tears....WE DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THAT LIFE!

Women, pay attention to the signs!  We sit here and pretend like certain things that have a right to be important to us aren't.  Like Valentine's Day.  Of course, it's a man made holiday and we can go on these philosophical rants about how this holiday is just an excuse to spend money and blah, blah, blah....but to a new relationship...IT'S IMPORTANT!  Let me tell yal something, my dad sent my mom flowers EVERY Valentine's Day for 20 years up until the day that he died, so let's not downplay the day.  Now if you are a couple and you two have mutually come to some kind of a agreement then I'm not talking to you.  But to you wimmenz that are pretending that you don't care but on the inside you are hoping that you are the "chosen one" this year, then this is for you!  YOU WILL NEVER BE THE CHOSEN ONE....you may be second, third, or fourth choice, but you will never be his first option!  He doesn't care about you enough to make you smile.  He has exactly what he wants out of you and there is no need to make further effort.  Take it from a woman who waited 10 years to be the chosen one.  Who wants to be second, third, or fourth of anything? Why settle for that?

In conclusion, we can blame the man all day everyday for what he actually does....but we can't blame the man for what we do to ourselves!  Emotion isn't everything!  Sometimes it's necessary to apply logic to your situations and allow the pros to outweigh the cons.  Some people that you want in your life, don't need to be in your life.  Sometimes you can't love him or yourself enough for the both of you.  Sometimes you are just filling his seat.

Closing out with this song....HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FOLKS!

CAN I GET SOME DOLLAHS WITH ALL THIS CHANGE?!?!

It's been a crrrrrrrrrrrazy two weeks!  I have so much to say but I don't have the natural ability to deliver the short versions of anything and I don't want to bore my readers with a play by play of my crazy, mixed up world! All that I can safely say without chasing you completely away is that I currently do not have a job, a car, or a place to live to speak of...

In.That.Order

BUT..on a brighter note, I started working on a new screenplay!  I figured if my newly found twerking skills to Yonce can't make it thunderstorm on my ass, then I could just write about it.  More entertaining...believe me!

This means absolutely nada!  Just thought it was hella sexy...

Let's just say that change is beyond beautiful and deviously misleading. Depending on how you look at the painting. 

Probably the closet I will get to a Basquiat

I've asked myself a million questions, had too many epiphanies to count, and actually drove around yesterday thinking about what topic I would bring up tonight.  

I've battled with the notion that maybe I'm destined to live a life like Oprah.  No husband and the only kids I have are the ones in an African school across the water,

Black is so BEAUTIFUL

and my plethora of dogs that sleep at the foot of my bed.  

Doesn't seem like a bad life does it?  I battle with that.

Or maybe I'm going to be like Halle Berry and have my first bambina at the ripe age of 42. Unfortunately for me, I don't think my body will quiiiiiite have that bounce back that hers did.  

Either way I'm well past my "I'm getting married at 25 and having my first baby at 27" quota!  And to make the biological clock tick even louder, I haven't met a sperm donor yet!  Not that I'm rushing the process, because I'm not, but it would've been nice to know that this is the guy and when the time is right we will officially show the entire world that we've been having "the sex".

But I'm hoping that this move to a bigger city changes my mind.  Not about being married or having kids, but that it's not a bad thing to be a woman that is career oriented.  A woman that would rather go out to eat versus cooking.  A woman who's idea of a great date involves liquor and me and that guy rapping the lyrics to SpottieOttieDopaliscious at the top of our lungs.  A woman who enjoys going to happy hours.  A woman that doesn't have anything in her refrigerator but a bottle of wine and some carrots....AND IT'S OKAY!!! 

SO THUG!

I'm hoping that one day a man will come and absolutely sweep me off my feet.  Or at least give me a piggy back ride.  I don't ask for much yal.

I'm excited about change right now!  Yes it's hard, it's weird, it's uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable more than I have ever been.  But knowing that from this moment on things won't be where they were before and they will never be the same from this point on makes it all worth it.

Yes I let her drive from time to time....AND WHAT?!  Thug shit!

EMBRACE CHANGE!!

Single Woman Desperately Seeking a Dating in the Church Bylaws Manual....

New year.  New font.  But I'm still the same single. 

Hello all and welcome to 2014!!!!  This is the time where promises are made,

 only to be broken on January 2nd, 

and commitments are made

only to be a no call/no show on the day of reckoning. 

 This year for me however, is the beginning of all things!  I'm transitioning right now.  New city, new wheels, new hallway to walk down, and new job to hate in the future << Hopefully this won't be the case.  This is also my transition into a different approach to dating.

This is going to get a little controversial *sighs*

How many people are old enough to remember this cover?  Loved it!!!!

I've always heard men say to other men that you can always find a good woman in church. 

But weirdly so, I haven't heard a lot of women make that same suggestion towards other women in regards to where to find good men. 

Now various things could account for this.  The ratio of men to women. 

The age of the men in the church.  I mean let's face it, there is one helluva gap!  You got ya babies and then ya got ya elders.  

The social statuses of the in 30+ men in the church.  Honestly, half the men that are legal to drive either come to church with their mothers, wives or are invited by a chic who someday hopes to join the first wives club.  And.....well....although I haven't experienced this a lot in my church residencies, some may say the sexual preferences of some of the men may not be the preference of a woman.

NIECE!!!!!!

With all of this being taken into account even in church, the single, 30+ man once again has the upper hand with a plethora of sometimes saved and sometimes sanctified options!  He has his pickings from the Sis. Lustys of the church (inside joke)

Sorry Meagan but.........

all the way to the formal Pentecostal bench warmer who didn't get the memo that colored lip gloss is allowed. 

It's a preference thing for him really and if he so chooses he can praise and worship his way right into some desperately seeking a God-fearing man, woman's panty drawer.  It's sad. But it's real, and it is happening.

Slightly off the subby >>> Speaking of dating and the church, how does one flirt in church or ask for someone's number?  When do you flirt?  During meet and greet?  And how do you know he/she is feeling you?  Do they hug you a certain way or hold you in the small of your back?  Is it more like a chest hug and is it tighter than the usual "church" hug?  Do you slightly grind during the hug (noticeable to only you two of course)?  Do you flirt at all?  Or do you keep your eyes straight forward and resist the urge to bat an eye?

Back on the saddle!  I'm learning that there are men, in the church, that only want to have sex!  I know, I know....shocker!  There are men in the church who still speak pimp, accept only now they use the power of prayer and take advantage of the exposure that takes place inside the holy walls. 

It has been confirmed that attending church, volunteering at church, praising and worshipping, passing out, and paying tithes does not change the character, purpose, or intentions of any person.  That is totally up to the individual.  Women included! 

If you were a ho in the streets and you bring that inside of the church, the holy walls can't change you!  Just like a wolf.  The holy walls just provide sheeps clothing, but if you pay attention, you can still see it's teeth. 

So as women, how are we to govern ourselves when dating and church cohabitate?  Do we hold these men up to the same low standards as we do players in these mean skreets, or do we set them on pedestals because of their spiritual relationship? 

Something to ponder on while you are working on that new year body, new year spirituality, and all around new you!!!!

Until next time..............

OUT with the OLD......IN with the NEW.......I'm a Single Black Female Breaking ALL my momma's rules!!!!

As 2013 begins to make it's graceful exit and 2014 is less than 12 hours our present, I sit back and reflect on what an awesome year that I've had.  Not awesome because everything was great.  I had some tragic things take place in my life.  But in the same breath I had some groundbreaking things happen that I never thought happen to me!

**In this final entry, instead of using random visuals to explain my stories....I decided to close out the year and bring in the new year with my visuals....as the visuals**  

The most important thing I learned in my 2013 journey was to forgive myself.  Forgive myself for not being perfect, 

I woke up like this....in real life #flawless #beyonceplayswaytoomuch

for being lazy, 

Those glasses were a front.  I was watching Monday Night Football

for preferring to have a glass of wine than be productive, 

for wanting to social network all day if that's what suited my fancy, 

#gymflow #beastin #bymyself #nofilter #inmylane #cantstopwontstop #Ionlydidonesitup #Ialmostdroppedmyphoneonmyface #Imgettingrollsonmyneck #hashtagkillah #socialnetworkcrackhead

for playing when I should be working, 

Black people call it 'dimes'...Other people call it Tripoley...lol

for making a mistake, 

This seemed very appropriate here.  Can't totally throw myself under the bus...lol

...and for wearing the same pants to work 3 days in a row because somewhere along the line between give a dayum and 0 fuxs.....I stopped caring.

Me at work trying to remember what I wore yesterday and the day before that..

Going into 2014, I have no resolutions.  I'm just going to continue to strive to be my total self.  As crazy, messed up, and loving as I am....I'm striving to be all of me and bask in every bit of greatness that God has created me to bask in. 

Going into 2014, I'm transitioning this awesome blog from The Celibacy Rules, to SBF (Single Black Female) in the City.  Not because I've broken the code and divulged in dinkle or because I plan on divulging in dinkle...

I see you lookin.....

lol...but because there is more to this story than whether or not I'm having sex, whether or not he called me back, or whether or not I feel like I'm worth it. 

My truth that I learned through this blog is that not all men are created equal, sometimes I'm just not his type, sometimes he's just not mine, having a weapon and not using it is just as powerful, and most importantly being 'worth it 'has to be more than something that you say. 


So like the year, it's time to change!  Life is changing people and you adjust and change with it.  Don't stand still holding on the past.  Embrace the change and see what new ideas open up for you.  Embrace the change and see what new things lie ahead.

My life in the Dominican......

Try something different, travel somewhere you've never been, try something you've always done a different way!!

As I type this I say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!  Now let's get to work!!!!!  

Back to business......

Until next time folks!