So I've been dinkleless <<< my word that I just made up, for about a month now! I expected some kind of congrats cake, 30 candles, a marching band, and unlimited tokens to Chucky Cheese...but I got neither of those things.
Actually I got really tired and spent my weekend in the house being productive in a sense. I got a lot of my goals accomplished and one of those goals was SLEEP!!! Jesus I didn't realize how important sleep was to my life. In the process of my sleep and my unlimited access to red wine, I realized that I'm cool on men. I mean the thought of a man made me roll my eyes. The thought of one of those creatures smiling at me gave me the shivers. Men were disgusting and I kissed God's pinky ring for taking away the desire! I figured this celibacy thing wouldn't be as hard as I thought.
That was until one good conversation had me contemplating going for a sprint outside in this 50 degree whether! How freakin fast things change!
She ain't ish!!!
One minute I'm like forget men, I got King Jesus and that's all I need,
and the next I'm holding up a picket sign to end the strike!
Maybe, just maybe I'm not quite over the thirst wall as I thought. It's one thing when you're not talking to anyone, it's a whole other thang when the right one simply says "Hello". And it wasn't just hello, but the entire conversation! It was a good conversation. Kind of like a "get to know you" type of convo. Give a little, take a little. A clever joke here, a slightly flirtatious comment inserted there. It was nice.
But I turned nice into a freak show in my head. I mean my imagination took the hell off and before I knew it I was killing a glass of red like it was lemon water! My love below immediately took over my brain cells and I started thinking of how it would happen.
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I would play cute and harmless and then hop on him like a wild wilderbeast! No...no...no, I would accidentally get reeeeeeally tipsy, you know the 3 glasses instead of 1 (rule #2), convince him to let me up for a "night cap" and then I would get sleepy and accidentally fall asleep with my legs open! My, my, the scenarios she comes up with when given just a little time and a cracked window.
The devil does not play fair, boy I tell ya! I literally took a harmless conversation and in my head committed to a relationship, jumped the broom, and consecrated our union in all of 10 minutes. Talk about thinking ahead. Do I think this guy is the one? Hell no. He's just a guy that said hello and thought I was a cool chic to talk to.
Honest mistake!!!!
So in conclusion, I am not ready for a one on one date, group dates only and I drive my own car! Oh and my homegirl has to ride with me so that I can take her home and can't follow him to his house.
Me and my bish rollin out!
Until next week!!!!!
Hahahaha! Awesome! I wonder why females play a lifetime in a 10 minute daydream? Lol I had to stop doing that myself when I would have a decent conversation. I'm rooting for you! Sorry I don't have any Chucky Cheese tokens!
ReplyDeleteIt's quite alright! You can pay me in gum, food stamps...I take CVS reward points too :)
ReplyDeleteSame thing happens to me in my mind.. instead of falling asleep with my legs open I end up in twerking involuntarily (or voluntarily depending on how you see it) against his resting genitalia... *poke*
ReplyDeleteOh I wasn't twerking.....I was popping dat azz! Lol!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how when we feel like our bodies (or mind) are "craving" something, we can take one thing and turn it into another, like our own personal game of telephone. A "how are you" sounds like an "I want you". Been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteBeen there done that and still oddly living it.....lol. I wonder if it ever changes.
ReplyDeleteIf it was easy, I guess everyone would be doing it I suppose.
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