MIND OVER.......THE LOVE BELOW, THE EMOTIONS, THE MEN....NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!

So it's the middle of the week and I realize that I haven't checked in with my readers, giving you the week by week tea of my dealings in the "celibacy world".  It's been a pretty interesting couple of days if I say so myself.  I've been tempted beyond measure

and I can honestly say that I passed with colors!  I don't know about them flags flying, but hey at least I got to lay them out and marvel at them in victory!

So after careful thought to this process, I'm concluding this walk is way more mental then I originally thought.   Dont' get me confused, because that physical is REAL do you hear me?!  You can't deny

the throbbing,

the clutching of the pearls,

or the touch of someone elses hands

Let me remind that slapping isn't always a bad thing people if you slap the right thing

......but I'm learning that you can't lose sight of the big bambino.....and what is that you ask?????  I really don't know right now, but all I can say is that I appreciate having a clear mind!  I'm not too much feeling a way about if I don't talk to him, or him, or him today, tomorrow, or next week!

here this dude goes again

Okay....well maybe a little bit.  While I'm playing there is still this guy floating around my brain cells that I can't seem to shake.  And he's one of those "the one I let hit and never called me again" types.  I'm still looking for that dude in the daytime with shades on!

Can never have enough shade.....lol...ion know

So I was catching up on Boardwalk Empire yesterday, and one of the characters said something that really jumped out and bit my twerking buttocks.  He said and I'm paraphrasing like a mutha mutha right now, but he said that you mustn't fall for the mediocrity of people, although the taste of mediocrity is the sweetest. 

Now what does that have to do with the price or rice in China you ask?  Absolutely nothing!  I just thought it was some pretty cool stuff and it rang pretty true for me and where I am right now.  No matter the temptation of my sneaky love below.  No matter how much she tries to justify and/or negotiate.....WAIT!!!!!

she got an attitude....tryna move around and ish

because we negotiated a few times this week and things panned out nicely so let me get off my pedestal on that one!  Sometimes negotiation is necessary to keep a clean bill of health! 

But seriously, the emotions, the men....nothing else really matters when you have made up your mind the direction you want to go in!  I'm totally in love with men!  I think more now than ever before because I have (unknowingly to them unless they read my blog)taken "the sex" off of the table and I now utilize other ways to get a finished result....WAIT that didn't quite fall out correctly.  I'm saying that I have found other ways to feed the pig if that makes sense....lol.  My desires are starting to change and the thought of just jumping into the sack with any guy that isn't willing to get the hot towel afterwards is just....well...a waste of time!

There is absolutely no reason for this picture...I just wanted to stare at him is all.

Until next time folks!!!!!!!!!!!



It's RAINING MEN, HALLELUJAH IT'S...WAIT!!!!!...Where's my umbrella??

Sitting here chillin, enjoying my high calorie salad and I come across this pretty cool show on CBS called, MOM. 

This is my first time actually checking this show out, but from what I can tell, it's about a young woman with 2 children who lives with her mother (go figure minus the 2 chiren). In this episode her character, much like me, decided to withhold from sex for a period of time.  She's been dating this guy for like 3 months and he invites her to a wedding.  Of course they are going to be sharing a hotel room and of course she hasn't exactly told him that she isn't down with "the sex" at this time so hence where the plot thickens and the comedy begins. Isn't that usually where the plot thickens and the unscripted comedy begins? 

I try to find the right words to say, because just saying "I'm celibate" just seems like a total record scratcher. 

So when exactly is the right time to tell a guy or gal, that you are refraining from "the sex"?  Do you mention it before the first date, during the first date, in the text convo, or do you make an announcement via social network and hope they see your post???? 

And then when they decide not to call you post your announcement, how should one feel?  Do you feel rejected or do you feel proud because you held up the blood stain banner???

 

 

Well I tell you what, I'm post rejection and I'm feeling....well....kind of rejected! 

 

 

Calm down kitty!

To make it so bad, it's a guy that I know.  Not some random stranger, I mean who gives two shits what they think?...unless he was crazy cute and the chemistry was off the chaaaaaaaaaaain...but okay back to reality.  He's a throwback (that's what I call former tenants of the cathouse).  He popped up like Waldo in a family picture and as usual, he blended right on in!

The convo was great, the chemistry.....grrreat!  Finishing each other's sentences, perfect comedy timing.......

But let me stop getting all sentimental like ANY of that matters, because at the end of the day, this mutha mutha hasn't answered my phone calls since I voided his long standing coochie coupon!  I mean I'm kind of in denial at this point.  I keep calling him, and calling him like okay....maybe his phone didn't ring,you know how SPRINT do ya.  Or maybe he meant to call me back, but forgot, so let me remind him. Or okay maybe he has a girlfriend now, so in that case am I being disrespectful??? Even though I'm totally ignoring the fact that he threw me the dinkle.  Or how about this maybe, just maybe he doesn't want to talk to me!!  And after day 2 of being hit with the nameless voicemail I think I've concluded that I've been REJECTED all because of my choice to abstain from sex!

This rode can be a lonely one when you just want some affection that isn't the homegirl high five or your homeboy hitting you with the church rub!  I just want to chill and tuck my feet up under someone.  But when your thirst can be flicked on with the slightest compliment and you find reasons to bend over in front of a brother.  Maybe its best to just role solo! 


Next week....same time, saaaaaaaaame place!!!

THE STRUGGLE......IS IT REAL ORRRRRRRRRRRRR......NAW IT'S REAL AND I'M THIRSTY

So I'm having an Amy Whinehouse kind of evening.  I have my glass of red, my earphones on, dinner has been eaten, and I've done my nightly ritual of surfing through social networks.  Which I'm totally in denial about by the way.  I mean if you ask me, I will tell you that I don't fool with social networks like that.....I have a life!

So I've been dinkleless <<< my word that I just made up, for about a month now!  I expected some kind of congrats cake, 30 candles, a marching band, and unlimited tokens to Chucky Cheese...but I got neither of those things. 

Actually I got really tired and spent my weekend in the house being productive in a sense.  I got a lot of my goals accomplished and one of those goals was SLEEP!!!  Jesus I didn't realize how important sleep was to my life.  In the process of my sleep and my unlimited access to red wine, I realized that I'm cool on men.  I mean the thought of a man made me roll my eyes.  The thought of one of those creatures smiling at me gave me the shivers.  Men were disgusting and I kissed God's pinky ring for taking away the desire!  I figured this celibacy thing wouldn't be as hard as I thought.



That was until one good conversation had me contemplating going for a sprint outside in this 50 degree whether!  How freakin fast things change! 

She ain't ish!!!

One minute I'm like forget men, I got King Jesus and that's all I need,

and the next I'm holding up a picket sign to end the strike! 

Maybe, just maybe I'm not quite over the thirst wall as I thought.  It's one thing when you're not talking to anyone, it's a whole other thang when the right one simply says "Hello".  And it wasn't just hello, but the entire conversation!  It was a good conversation.  Kind of like a "get to know you" type of convo.  Give a little, take a little.  A clever joke here, a slightly flirtatious comment inserted there.  It was nice. 

But I turned nice into a freak show in my head.  I mean my imagination took the hell off and before I knew it I was killing a glass of red like it was lemon water!  My love below immediately took over my brain cells and I started thinking of how it would happen. 

I would play cute and harmless and then hop on him like a wild wilderbeast! No...no...no, I would accidentally get reeeeeeally tipsy, you know the 3 glasses instead of 1 (rule #2), convince him to let me up for a "night cap" and then I would get sleepy and accidentally fall asleep with my legs open!  My, my, the scenarios she comes up with when given just a little time and a cracked window. 

The devil does not play fair, boy I tell ya!  I literally took a harmless conversation and in my head committed to a relationship, jumped the broom, and consecrated our union in all of 10 minutes.  Talk about thinking ahead.  Do I think this guy is the one?  Hell no.  He's just a guy that said hello and thought I was a cool chic to talk to.

Honest mistake!!!!

So in conclusion, I am not ready for a one on one date, group dates only and I drive my own car!  Oh and my homegirl has to ride with me so that I can take her home and can't follow him to his house.

Me and my bish rollin out!

 

 

Until next week!!!!!