LET'S GET MARRIED: ROLE REVERSAL.....

I know I just posted a blog last night but I'm totally feeling it right now!  I don't completely have my mojo back, but I'm definitely feeling good about whatever weird direction my mind has me going.

So there has been a question/scenario thats been probing social media for a few weeks now.  There was this picture, of a woman down on one knee, proposing to her man....I'm assuming this was her man.  This photo got a lot of attention and had everyone asking if the man was in fact demasculinized because the woman seemed to have taken the initiative and took the man role. 

I personally am torn about this scenario.  Mainly because as a woman, I salute her confidence and initiative to go for what she wants.  BUT on the other end I can't help but wonder the dynamic of their relationship.  Who exactly is the dominant one?  The aggressor?  Not to mention that in the picture the guy either was taken aback by her boldness (which is possible) or he got a lil broke wrist flavored sugar in his tank.  But aside from the obvious, what is this pic saying about society? 

Let's be honest, this isn't the first time that a woman has proposed to a man.  I can't confirm whether this is a regular occurence, but my thoughts say what makes this case so profound is her actually taking the man role of submission and getting down on one knee.  I can't stop thinking about singer Pink, and her proposal to now husband/sometimes separated/may be divorced and baby daddy, Carey Hart.  She proposed to him on a dirt bike track, with a sign that said WILL YOU MARRY ME!  And honestly I thought it was the most random and romantic thing I've seen.  In Pink's case the fact that we had an idea of her liberated personality and a little of the back story that led to the proposal may of swayed the hearts of the conservative woman/man.  And at the end of the day she didn't get down on one knee!!!  Does that one knee kneal really make a difference???  I say YES IT DOES!

The issue isn't that she asked for his hand in marriage in verbal terms, but in physical terms she demonstrated the act of submitting to him.  Don't us women submit enough when it comes to a relationship or to men period?  We are human beings and have animalistic instinct just like our male counterparts.  But we are trained by women and taught by women to deny ourselves of certain instincts and enhance other traits that we possess like the art of nurturing, the skill of listening, the power of discipline, and the mind fuck of SUBMISSION.  So why oh why must we take away yet another area where a man publicly submits and confesses his love to the woman he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with....why must we strip him of that?

Haven't women taken away enough from men?  Haven't we given them enough passes?  Traded in our aprons for briefcases?  Women have proven that we can do it too!  We have proven that if we want, we too can be independent.  Time has proven and continues to prove that we have a voice and it matters.  So why take away yet another form of responsibility of the man?

Is this a big deal?  No, not really.  But overall this defines the direction our society seems to be teeter-tottering in on accident but on purpose.  Role reversal is happening people and women are becoming more comfortable in men roles and it appears that men are becoming more comfortable letting us.

As stated above, I don't know the dynamics of their relationship.  Who knows, he could've proposed to her a 100 times and got rejected.  She could've cheated and she is fighting to get his love back.  He could have an issue with rejection and she did what she had to do to reassure him.  You just never know the situation, but a picture is worth a thousand words.

It's great to have rights and exercise them when needed.  It's great to be liberated and live the life you want to live and not the cookie cutter version of what ya momma and ya grandma tried to program into you.  It's great to know that you have the power and voice to be totally independent.  It's great to have the confidence to take what you want.  BUT too much of a good thing is bad for your health.  

At the end of it all, it's all about what makes you happy.  Do you!  Just make sure you can wear the shoes you picked out.  You may be walking in them for a while.   

    

THE WOMAN STRUGGLE.....EMOTION VS. LOGIC

Ok so I told myself that I was going to get out of this writing slump that I’ve been in.  I haven’t written in weeks!  Just so caught up in “life” I guess…or whatever in the hell that means.  I finally got a job!! TWO jobs actually and I need both of these sons of guns too.  Being out of work unprepared isn’t ideal at all.  BUT I’m still alive, I didn’t get evicted, nothing got repo’d, and I’m still smiling so all is good in my hood.

But my creative brain has suffered tremendously!  Working almost 12-16 hours per day with no days off puts a halt on thinking outside the box.  So with all of this work that I’ve been doing and the lack of male contact outside of some mild “What you doin’” texts, I’ve noticed two things:  The first is my hustle is REAL, and the second is why do we become everything our exes wanted us to be when you’re no longer with them?  I know it’s a thought posed as a question, but walk with me.

Now I say this because in failed relationships it seems we are everything WE THINK our significant other wants.  I remember my last “so called” relationship in ’09 and I remember trying so hard to be what I thought he wanted and when he rejected my advances, I swore he wasn’t shit in my mind.  But in truth I just wasn’t ready for what he tried to learn me.  Now that’s a hard thing for me to admit because at the time I thought of course that I was the pick of the fucking litter, and you couldn’t tell me anything different!  Although this process of admitting my fuckedupness is hard I’d rather admit than keep being a dayum fool in future commitments and blaming the next man for my issues.

How did I get here?  After going through decide ably the HARDEST four months of my life, it took some forreal, forreal struggle and some major alone time (that was God appointed mind you) to conclude that there were some areas I needed to grow the fuck up in.

Sometimes we just get used to being mediocre in certain areas.  And this isn’t just man/woman talk, this is life talk.  We want someone to accommodate and/or make due with shit that in truth we need to change.  Now I know that I’m always on changing and looking at yourself, but I’m about self-improvement.  I’m not into male bashing or blaming men for every single thing that happens with a woman.  We women aren’t always correct in our assessments and choices.  We aren’t always correct in our emotional love walks.  Sometimes what we think isn’t always what it is…and sometimes what we do isn’t always what he wants.  Now apply this logic to life and the choices that are made. 

Now let me clarify…..this “so called” wasn’t shit in the relationship, but apparently I wasn’t either.  But it’s crazy for me now because the things that probably turned him off about me have now changed and I totally see my lacking.  I was a lazy bitch that expected to be taken care of and held no accountability for my lack of planning or discipline.  If I fucked up it was his job to get me out of it.  And although my character wasn’t of a selfish nature, my actions were.  It’s crazy how “life” brings you back to the shit you struggle to walk past and ignore. 

This isn’t my typical blog, but it’s an honest one.  Another thing that happened on my struggle was that I stopped caring so much about what was liked and more about what was needed.  Excuse me why I attempt to get my mojo back. 

KUJICHAGULIA!!